Used to the Pretend

Used to the pretend
Getting too used to the pretend,

Not knowing what is real

Not knowing how I feel,
The emptiness persists
Holding it together while it breaks apart,

Not upset just breaking apart
This cannot be fixed, the endless walking into trouble,

Like fixing a broken vessel,

A leak fixed, three more spring up,
A calm exterior to hide the inner turmoil,

The pretend, showing everything’s good;

It may be, it may not,

In five minutes the tables could have turned.

I could be in despair, in pain,
Emotions are like a tornado of changing destruction and pain.
The only continuity if the pretend, the happiness.
There comes a point after a long time pretending where you cannot tell true from false happiness.
I guess it doesn’t matter, if true or false happiness makes you feel happy.
This is a complicated life, and my life of being used to the pretend

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