The Everyday War Inside

The everyday war inside,

The thrashing of thoughts,

The raging storm within the prison of my mind,

The surge.

Followed by the swell.

The never-ending storm.

The pain left,

The scars marked.

The torment remains.

Your voice echoes in memory.

A war inside, to forget, to remember.

You grab hold, won’t let me be.

Won’t let me forget.

Why do you keep this war going inside my head?

Leave me be.

Leave me forget

Carve It Out

Carve it out.

That heart that pains me,

The brain that pains me,

The gut that drags me down.

The depths that claw at me,

Bringing me into their deadly grip.

The ice cold feeling,

The burning raging inside.

The blows and strikes that weaken me,

The reality that taints me.

Being that kills me.

The grip that chokes me.

The numbness that throws me down.

This is the feeling that rips me apart.

Time to carve it out.

Carve out what makes me, me.

Carve out the feeling, the love, the pain, the suffering.

No matter the toll it takes.

The feeling that bursts out of my chest in flames.

The silence, my only friend.

Yet also my enemy.

The deadly grip wrapping itself around my neck.

To carve out the heart.

Leaving me with nothing.

An empty vessel.

A pained juxtaposition.

Carve out the heart that breaks me.

Letter To My Siren

My Siren, you’ve come back to me.

After all you’ve done.

Tore me apart.

Left me for dead.

Broke me and tossed me aside.
You come back to me,

Pretend all is okay,

Nothing has changed.

Well no. I still have the scars. The missing pieces.

You ripped out of my soul.

Why do you torture me so?

Let me go,

As I try to you.

You blamed me, for holding on,

Now your tendrils wrap around me.

Suffocating me. With your sweet laugh, your sweet voice. Your sweet lies.

Letter to my Siren.

Let me go,

Leave me go free,

Let me pick up the pieces and run.

Don’t grab the pieces to break them further.

I can’t handle another.

Yet I am drawn, as I pull away.

This has happened before.

It killed me then.
Letter to my Siren,

Will you kill me now?
Sorry for the quite deep and dark poem. A new style. Had a good night out with friends last night, a bad day today, the person I tried to keep outside of my life, tried to talk to me, even though recently I blank them. I want to forget, in totality until no memory of them is left. Yet they talk to me as if nothing happened. Pain. I’ve been here, many times before, even with this person. Always ended out bad. I wish you would leave me to forget you.

Borrowed Time

Borrowed time,

Empty lives,

Empty eyes,

Somber tones of grey and black,

The clenched fist,

The red face,

The pounding chest,

The tear running down the cheek.

The mouth not able to speak.

Not an untterance.

Not a word.

A silent cold stare from you, to the world, back to you.

This borrowed time,

The language of life,

The language of mine.

The empty mind.

The cold heart.

The hand outstretched,

Seeking comfort,

Seeking life.

Living on borrowed time,

That story of mine.

The language through which life speaks.

This borrowed time through which I speak.

This borrowed time made up of me.

I drift through this borrowed time.

And drift off, into the distance.

Don’t Let It Creep In

Don’t let it creep in,

The pain, the hurt,

The love.

Instead keep this numb feeling,

The emptiness.

The barrier from destruction, made with apathy.

Must not let it creep in,

Those wretched similar feelings.

Brought me to the bring.

I will not be dragged back into the dark, yet also light?
I don’t think want it to creep in,

But I kinda do.

Those Songs That Stay With You

Those songs that stay with you,

Those songs you remember,

That make you laugh,

Make you cry,

As everything flies past.

Leave you alone,

In your solitude.

In your space.

Nothing to do but cry,

To wonder why,

Those songs that stay with you.

Leave you there, alone.

As everything piles up,

You are there.

You’re left.

Alone, with those songs that stay with you.

Missing Something

I’m missing something,

Cannot put my finger on it.

Like a lost part of me.

What is it?

How’d I lose it?

Where?

A complex emptiness,

That I am trying to discern.

Trying to uncover.

Missing the feelings,

Locked them away and then thrown away the key.

For my own safety.

I am missing something.

I miss the feeling,

The good, bad and ugly.

Now just replaced with a cold emptiness.

A cold constriction.

Living for these small moments of joy.

To forget.

To forget.

That I am missing something