You.

You there,

Not seen you in a while,

You encapsulate me,

Make me feel better,

I want to be better.

To be true and worth to you.

I know I should turn away.

But can’t pull myself away.

The storm of my mind,

Settled when beside you.

Just…

What to do…

I will find way.

You,

Your funny smile,

Cute laugh,

The beauty you don’t see,

The kindness there,

The smart and determined attitude.

You.

That’s you.

Crazily amazing that I don’t know how to explain.

That’s you.

May have to leave. To keep myself me.

More importantly not to hurt you.

My self-inflicted wounds will heal,

I won’t do anything to hurt you.

Even if it kills me inside.

What’s wrong with me

Falling willingly into the trap I’ve set,

Throwing myself against the wall,

Tears blinding,

Pain burning,

Anger is my only friend, an escape from the sadness.

A break from the pit,

The chasm of torture.

What’s wrong with me,

Everything feeling,

Wanting,

Not knowing.

Break the inside out.

Down a pit I can’t get out.

The tunnel I can’t see the exit.

What’s wrong with me?

This feeling.

Cannot be right.

Nothing to do.

It’s irrational,

I know it is.

Just can’t feel that, can’t see that.

What’s wrong with my eyes to blind me from what I know.

To break out of this cage,

Rupture the norm,

Embracing the numbness and ripping it out.

What is wrong with me?