Addiction

Addicted to the feeling,

The one I must let go,

The way of life,

The control over me,

The pain it causes me,

The being, feeling, living my addiction.

Waiting for the end,

Hoping it will get better,

Even knowing it will need to end,
It will need to stop,
I need to stop.
To escape this addiction.

To escape this feeling.

Need to escape this addiction,

To be able to renew myself

To escape this inadequate living.

Everything surround this addiction,
The feeling,
The waiting,
The thinking,
Ever-so constant and alluring.

Painful and hurting.

The addiction is my escape,
Makes me feel alive,
Makes the world mean something,
Means something to be living in it.

But it causes pain, this addiction.

Hurting and harming all aspects of my life.

But how can I let it go?

If it gives meaning to all other aspects.

How can I let it go, if it harms concurrently with fulfilling.

If it harms while also creating and giving meaning.

This addiction,
My addiction,
It’s as much a part of me as I am.

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