Walling Myself Off

Walling myself off,

From the feelings,

From the thoughts.

Emptying myself of all that can be described as living.

To make strong what is weak,

To bolster my feelings

To avoid seeing my sadness

To wall myself away from all I know.

To be someone I’m not, no, not that.

To be nothing, to be no-one

Living in limbo, merely existing.

Within my wall.

Losing all of my humanity,

To save myself from the pain.

I have done this before, it wasn’t worth it.

But this pain is unbearable.

Walling myself off,

To stave off the pain.

I wall myself off.

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