Thankfulness to Friends Always There

Those kind souls always there,

In my times of need.

When I have nowhere.

The help steady me,

Remind me of life’s wonders, even if I’m not ready to see them.

They bless me with their company and kindness,

Unconditional and caring.

They help me.

Even as I don’t know how to help myself.

Even as I push back,

As I hurt.

They don’t give up.

Even when I think they should.

They remind me,

That I would do the same for them.

And I would.

They help,

I’m indebted.

My promise of kindness, care and help.

To whose who’ve stuck with my madness.

Always care to offer.

As they have for me.

I say goodnight now,

Knowing they have helped me.

Till the morning to see them again,

To be a better me.

To help them.

As they have helped me.

They’ve saved me from my demons,

On countless occasions.

Helped me to see the light,

When only showed the pain.

They give me, an indescribable feeling.

That. Life goes on.

That.

There is something.

That. My demons may be there.

But do not control me.

My friends. I am ever-thankful. More than human language can comprehend.

More than anything else. I am ever-grateful. For what you have given me.

It may be nothing,

This kindness, cares and compassion.

But this ‘nothing’ is more than I could ever ask for.

More that I could ever want.

And for this my friends.

You will see my eternal gratitude.

Mistakes Made. Times Ahead.

Mistakes made,

Path walked, misguided by my own hands.

All gone,

A flash before my eyes,

Time to look ahead.

To see where to go,

What pieces are left.

Of my mind,

My broken, faulty and failing mind.

I will find a fix,

A way to escape my demons.

A way to avoid their dark embrace.

To step closer to the light.

To move on in face of the darkness.

To look the other way.

To find peace. An escape.

Always looking.

A plan on hold, to see where I go.

Nearing ever closer, this need to find the light.

To escape the demons that plague my mind.

My mistakes are made.

All final and done.

Set in stone.

Now it’s to find what is left among the rubble,

To pick up the salvageable.

To move on,

And find a life.

I can live,

Despite the past.

Despite my mistakes made,

And to look for the times ahead.

Trying to Be Me

Trying to be me,

Knowing it corrupts,

Trying, hurting. Always hurting.

Hurting those I care about.

Unintentionally.

Walking into the pain.

Unknowingly.

Trying to be good.

Trying to be me.

Trying to help and making things worse.

Hurting and always hurting others.

Trying, wanting.

Trying to be better.

Wanting to help.

Wanting to be me.

It always hurts others.

Trying to cope.

Not helping.

Knowing I corrupt every good thing.

Knowing I hurt all I care about.

Unintentional. But someone walk myself down that path.

Down that dark and lonely road.

Down the path and into the arms,

Of oblivion.

Of life.

Of the endless…

Suffering.

That I put others through.

To be left.

Empty.

Alone.

With nothing.

Hurting everyone.

Trying to be me.

But always hurting.

Those I care about.

Childhood Cares

Those childhood cares,

A lack of worries,

Ignorant childhood bliss,

The world laid out on a plate.

Novel experiences all around.

New people, places and things.

The world, an empty canvas,

To be filled with life.

All progressing.

Onwards through the march of time.

To a point where you do not know,

Where the time has gone.

Gone before missed.

Those childhood cares,

Gone in a flash.

To be replaced by others.

New fears and cares,

To replace the old.

More novel times, novel experiences.

To chart a way from those childhood cares.

Waiting For Your Call

Waiting for your call,

Hoping,

Happiness there in present,

Hoping,

Waiting for your call.

It may never come.

But I’ll be waiting, hoping.

I’m sorry, but this is me.

My care. My hope.

Don’t you worry, you don’t need to call.

You don’t need to worry,

Don’t need to force a call.

Just do what you have to do.

And I will do mine.

Just waiting, for your call.

Hoping it’s not in vain.

Knowing you would never hurt me,

Always caring.

I just am hoping for a call.

That may come. Or may never come.

The hope gives me something.

A happiness in waiting,

Intense feelings when fulfilled.

A reminiscent happiness that lingers after.

Knowing you are good.

Knowing you are kind.

There is this happiness in the world.

I am fine.

I will.

I am.

Waiting for your call, that may never come.

But I go on waiting, in happiness, in hope.

To hear.

That call.

Meaning of Care

The meaning of care,

A word here or there,

Feelings shared.

A hug,

A friendly mind,

Someone there,

Your hand in mine.

Letting me know someone is there,

That someone cares.

Kindness immense,

Feelings indescribable.

Knowing that someone cares.

My kindness, my care,

I pledge,

To make you feel better,

Help you feel alright.

Even if I fail. I would have won;

If you knew you had someone who cares.

Someone to talk to when totally alone.

A shoulder to cry on, when needed.

A person, hanging onto your friendship.

A person who will never let you fall,

And if I can’t stop it.

I will not let you fall alone.

I’ll be there every step of the way.

To let you know,

Someone cares.

I care.

This is my.

My meaning of care.

Nothing Stopping You

The wall in my way,
Cleared away by my heavy hand.

The water parted by my will.

The truth rising from the sea of black,

The sun coming out from behind the dark figure,
Darkness disipating with screams and shouts,
My breaking through of all adversity.

Breaking out into the warmth of the light.

Breaking out into the life I want to live,
The life that’s good living.

Nothing will stand in my way,
Thrown to the side,
I will get it,
I will move past all troubles,
Strife.

Bringing all my friends,
Picking them up, and carrying them.
Nothing will stand in the way of my will.

As there is nothing stopping you.

Small Gatherings

Those small gatherings,

Care, laughter and happiness.

All lingering, fondly within the darkness of my mind.

The truest light, to shine throughout the shadows,

As a lighthouse in the pitch black night of the world.

Indescribable feeling,

Smile in total, beaming.

Ecstatic, and in ecstasy, total bliss and brilliance.

What? Why? How?

Questioning the reality,

Of these blissful moments.

Of these little times,

Key times,

Radiant times.

These little gatherings and how you bring me into my own life.

Song on the Radio

That song,

The memories,

The reminder of the times,

The reminder of you.

That I try to push out,

Try to escape.

The good times and the bad.

All reminded of you.

This song on the radio,

Saves and ends me.

Brings me joy and pain. To end in tears.

The end,

The last song,

That last time.

That song, playing on the radio.