Lie You Don’t Want to Tell

The lie you don’t want to tell.

The desires for one thing,

The aims for another.

The truthful question asked.

No good answer to tell.

No matter how hard I try.

All ignored and hurt.

The lie told.

The lie unavoidable.

The truth held,

The truth hurt,

Sparing the feelings, to be told later.

No option left,

But to hide and hope,

For a miracle.

For my friend.

The hope left in one,

Spent on another.

Who cannot see the dichotomy.

Of behaviour, of being.

Be truthful,

Speak the mind.

To the dark truth inside.

The trap set, strung and sprung.

All done before your eyes.

The opposite of what is sought, is wanted.

Unable to say without breaking.

A friend hoping without wanting.

Wanting would doing.

Doing without sacrifice, even if the sacrifice is merely spoken.

I hope what is doomed may not be.

Hope to all hope that it may not be true.

But fearing it is.

My hopes for you dashed,

My fears confirmed,

By a singular sentence.

That everyone sees but I avoid.

A sentence I pretend not to.

I feel complicit in both the comfort and pain,

For hiding the truth from myself,

Not telling the truth to you.

I’m sorry I’m at fault.

Is it better living in happiness or the truth.

That all can see, but i avoid.

All can see, even yourself,

But I perpetuate.

In my complicit crime.

Walking into the trap.

Continuing the bait,

The false pretence.

A fault I will have to try to live with.

The fault I will have to keep,

To hold,

And to hide.

Unbeknownst to you.

Despite your aim.

Despite your hopes.

But I care too much,

To much to say,

To much to tell.

All I want to do is to tell the truth.

To tell you the truth behind the hidden lie.

Left here.

With the lie,

The lie I don’t want to tell.