Those Times

Those times, at those moments you don’t notice,

Those times gone by,

Those moments gone past,

I understand as typing,

Those times,

Those changes,

Never change from the reality that is,

That may be.

That can be.

Always on the edge,

Always skirting around the problem.

The problem with me.

The me as being.

The changes as I am seeing.

Please don’t.

Why being.

Don’t say.

The uncertainty.

The craziness of the darkness that may be.

That may linger.

Even once the memories may fade.

Even as I may notice.

Don’t worry, don’t fret.

What may be what may be.

Don’t worry. Lovely of what may be.

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What I can’t say

What I can’t say,

I won’t say to my best friend, my sister.

I can’t say as I won’t hurt you.

Can’t say, won’t burden you.

Can’t say, can’t be this way.

Won’t say, can’t say. I care too much.

Can’t say, won’t say.

You stand there, I can’t say, won’t say.

Don’t you worry yourself.

Just be yourself, let me be mine.

Don’t let me burden you.

Had words to say, but they are not right.

Not right but won’t hurt you.

Will leave you.

To not hurt you.

To free you.

To not hurt you.

Nothing matters more.

Just you be you and I will go on.

When the Rain Subsides

The rain subsides,
The calm resumes,
The rain gradually patters to a close,

The sun emerges from its long slumber,
Tears drift down one’s face,
As peace comes back,
The petrichor rises in the air,

The clouds float away,
Revealing a bright blue sky,
The radiant sun,

And another day.
Another light,
Another day to make mine,
Awoken from a dark slumber,

Refreshed and revived,

Not finding the summer winding path,
But knowing where to look.

Rain subsides and the sun comes out,
A sunny spring day,
After the dark winter,
The daylight shining after the darkest night.

A new day, my own, owned by me.
Mine for the taking.
And I will take it.

When the rain subsides

 

Forgetting to Yourself

Embracing the calm emptiness,

Forgetting the world and its inner workings.

Erasing the mind.

Deleting the feeling.

Making myself,

An empty shell.

A blank slate,

Completely cold.

Forgetting problems,

Not noticing happenings.

So that nothing can touch me.

To empty the mind,

Watching it spill, overflow and dry up.

Leaving nothing but a dry, cracked base.

The emptiness, the doubt, the uncertainty, the unfeeling.

Different, abnormal, empty and unhinged.

An arms length away.

Moving to the bottle for all feeling,

The feeling I threw out,

The life made empty.

The erasure of being.

The tank run empty,

The mind run dry,

The feelings run cold.

Forgetting. All that may hurt. All that does hurt.

To avoid hurting others, as I do myself.

Forgetting this feeling that entraps me.

Thrown To The Depths

Thrown to the depths,

Of uncertainty and strife.

Left with nothing but fears

Of the oncoming darkness.

The path of loss,

The way unknown and closed off to me.

Unsure about to the world of darkness I am about to be thrown to.

Alone in a world of uncertainty.

In a world of spinning,

Of crazy.

Where my mind is my sole enemy.

The death-grip of worry, the concern,

The flashing before my eyes,

Of what I cannot see, what I want to see.

What I  need to see, to avoid this worry,

To alleviate the suffering.

To make whole what has been broken,

To fix what is uncertain.

To avoid the grip of death,

The paralysis of worry,

To escape the dark depths.

To avoid being drowned in darkness.

To avoid being thrown to the depths.

Where nothing can save me.