Never Forgetting The Words Once Said

Never forgetting the words once said,

The pain caused,

Insecurities highlighted,

Even if shrugged off,

Even if laughed about.

They are always remembered.

My irrational pain that consumes me.

Trying to bury deep,

Trying to forget and leave in the past,

In the dark.

I do not know why. Do not know how.

Will always remember,

Won’t forget, can’t forget.

Can only remember and suppress.

Never forgetting the words once said.


A video I found, about the being a ‘good child’, I was a good child, the good child of the lot and harboured a lot of pain, never shown, always hurt and always kept under wraps. I find and continue to find this impacting me negatively in all aspects of my life.

Amazing Days Turned Sour

Amazing days turned sour,

The worries begin to materialise,

Before my eyes, within my mind,

An endless sea of worry and doubt,

Dark clouds above,

No horizon to speak of,

To path in sight.

How the sunny day fogs over,

To rip apart what is inside,

No matter how hard I try.

To steer myself in the right direction,

Always self-‘correcting’ to despair.

The worries seep in and turn amazing days sour,

Break my spirits as I play blind.

The uncertainty, worry and doubt.

Torment my mind’s sleep,

With no restful moment.

No friend to understand or talk to.

No person to confide in,

None will understand the worries in my mind.

Offer false glimpses of hope to comfort me.

Yet I remain tortured inside.

Half a week’s worth of happiness is all I am allowed,

Before the worries and doubt returns,

To turn amazing days sour,

To be left with nothing.

To be left empty,

Alone with my thoughts and worries,

Worries, an ever growing cycle of turbulence,

More and more severe, more intense and draining.

Leaving those amazing days a mere mirage, a memory of what was,

Until it is forgotten and left and lost.

Need to find and reclaim those amazing days lost, those amazing days gone past.

Before they are lost and forgotten.