What Did You Expect?

What did you expect?

The question asked, wondering into the future,

Asking into the unknown.

Asking of life.

Expectation and reality.

An ever-questioning presence.

The possibility and reality.

The potentiality, the presence.

The being and the change.

What did you expect? From what has happened.

How it has progressed.

Was this the way it should be? Had to be? Was?

What did you expect from what has come?

What did you expect?

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Feelings Not My Own

Feelings, not my own.

Of a person I’ve never known.

The experiences and feelings,

Alien, yet so familiar.

My own, and not so,

At the same time.

The places been, feelings felt.

The time ongoing and drifting away.

The solidarity felt with an unknown being.

The feeling, both alien and familiar.

Brother and stranger.

The feelings felt, but not my own.

Feelings felt,

Onwards and drifting into unknown experiences.

These feelings,

Not my own.

Most Influential Lines/Quotes

Just a list of quotes I like.

I’m not even a fan of tattoos, but anything were to be considered, it would be these.

“I would face my demons, just to help you face yours”
– ‘Nice’Guy

“When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours”
– Rick and Morty

“Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”
– Dylan Thomas

“He had no friends, and for the first time in his life he became aware of loneliness” – John Williams in his book ‘Stoner’

“If you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.”

“In his forty-third year William Stoner learned what others, much younger, had learned before him: that the person one loves at first is not the person one loves at last, and that love is not an end but a process through which one person attempts another.” – John Williams in his book ‘Stoner’

“Alien to the the world, it had to live where it could not be at home” – John Williams in his book ‘Stoner’

“‘… think of all the time–‘. ‘I wouldn’t know what to do with it,’ Stoner said. ‘I’ve never learned.'” – John Williams in his book ‘Stoner’

“He had wanted the singleness and the still connective passion of marriage; he had that, too, and he had not known what to do with it, and it had died. He wanted love; and he had had love, and had relinquished it, had let it go into the chaos of potentiality.” – John Williams in his book ‘Stoner’

To Those Who Try To Help

To those who try to help,

Those who continue to believe in me.

I’m sorry.

The path I take, I try to make.

The doors closing on me,

A lost cause.

A hopeless mess,

When I’ve come so far.

All thrown back into my face.

As I try to make my way.

The path I try to plot, to escape the darkness of uncertainty.

I’m sorry.

The path is lost,

The bearings lost too.

Left adrift.

Left losing the will.

Left with loss,

Loss of all, of mind, will and soul.

To those who try to help,

My gratitude is yours,

But I am left adrift at sea,

Drowning in uncertainty.

Without a place to turn.

The mind cannibalising itself,

Worries manifesting,

Uncertainty growing.

I’m sorry.

To all those who try to help.

I’m lost.

And I’m sorry.

Awake I Lie

Awake I lie,

Thoughts racing,

Trouble brewing.

The uncertain future.

Perseverance to clear a path,

Draining my life through this troubled storm.

The turbulent seas,

Uncertain paths without any horizon.

Chatting a path through the darkness.

Left without a heading.

Attempt after attempt.

Storms keep bashing my direction into darkness.

Awake a lie,

Thinking of the troubles to come,

Looking for a heading.

Looking for an option.

For a way out.

All direction and certainty lost to the depths.

Lost to the darkness,

The horizon unseen.

Awake I lie,

Pondering these questions,

Without direction.

Without heading.

Looking into the darkness and uncertainty.

Taking a step at a time.

Without heading, without knowing.

Hoping, persevering, to find my way.

To find a path.

All, as I lie awake.