Outside The Feeling

Outside the feeling I find myself.

Looking in,

Unfeeling, yet feeling.

Going about my day, feeling and forgetting.

The feelings slipping away from me,
Without a second look,

Left empty.
But not sad.
But not happy.

Outside of the feeling,

I find myself, trapped and excluded.

Wandering around,

Feeling incomplete without the feeling,

Being on the outside of the feeling.

The lack,
The empty,
The cold,
The lack of feeling.

Knocking on the door,
Wanting to be let in.

Wanting to understand,

Left outside,
Without memory of the feeling,
Of the past,
Wondering what it was like.

Having familiarity- all too familiar- ripped away from me.

Now I find myself,

In mourning;
For what I have not lost,
For what I have lost,
And for everything I do not know

Outside of the feeling.

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