Fighting The Demons

Fighting off the demons,
The corrupting influences,
A dark force to throw off.
A bringer of only suffering.

A powerless entity,
As I drain them of all power,
Collect my life,
Make it my own.
Bring on the coming future.
Casting out the corruption.

Detoxifying my life of all the darkness,
That the demons use to cling hold,
I’ve found freedom from the darkness.
Claimed light for my own.

Many pieces coming together,
Forming a whole,
Forming coherency,
And a brightness not seen in a while.

Such a long time I was in the dark,
Having lost the light.
Being broken, lost, hurt and inflictng what the demons taught me.
To be cast off,
I now have choice, agency.
To cast out corruption,
To throw the demons aside.

Here I fight,
To claim a happiness once lost.
To find peace, in a tumultous world.
To find love in all things pure,
As it has found me in the unexpected places.

The demons now have no hold.
Yet they will be, an ever-formative part.
Kept in check.
But having made me stronger,
Made me wiser.
Given me great pain.
I will keep them in check,
Cast them out.

Fighting these demons. I win.
Living the life I have found.
Fighting off the demons that still seek to destroy me.

Fighting off the demons.

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Poetry and One Year On

Hello everyone,

Wished I was feeling in better spirits when writing this, but can’t help it. I’m glad WordPress told me it’s my one year anniversary on WordPress, honestly cannot believe it’s been a year.

So much has happened, so much has changed.

I have been through a lot, lots of stuff has changed, lots of things all running through my head.

Poetry has made it all much more bearable, even being a compulsion of mine, something I intend to continue, so long as I have feelings to describe, understand and make sense of.

Thank you to all the good people who have had many kind words to say about my work, kind people who listened, read, messaged me and gave me kind messages!

If I had known today was the anniversary, 15 minutes before the day was over and with work in 6 hours I would have planned something larger. Maybe tomorrow.

But thanks to everyone.
Helping me when I was trapped in a dark place.

Finally found a way out.

Still get good and bad days as everyone does and will so long as you’re human. But I’m moving along, better, even despite being sad tonight, have a great friend to hold on to, hold out for and hang out with.

My studies are going really well, confirmation of an aim I’ve had for a long while and committed to it fully.

My close friend helped me (unknowingly) find a better work-life balance, writing positive poetry, but they showed me. The positive things to see.

Things will go up and down.
Things will at times be difficult.

But I can.

All my WordPress family I believe in, no matter what you are going through, I hope and wish you well. To fight your demons as I have fought mine.

On a side note, feeling slightly better after writing this, found the words to a poem I had the title for, and thought of another while writing this!

The Lonely Silence Of The Dark

Lonely silence of the dark,
The dark days gone past,
Those yet to come,

Waiting for those light days, the ones to look forward to.
To hope for,
To live for.

When the darkness of the night is all around,
With silence as the figure lurking in the dark.
The depths of night.
An impenetrable shroud;
Thick, dark, all-consuming.
Suffocating at a touch.

The feeling of life,
The memories returning,
But only for a time.
The deep sadness,
To accompany the lonely silence of the dark.

Out Of Mind

Out of mind,
I hide the feelings,
Scared of where they could take me,
Offered care and kindness.

Trying to keep the pain out of my mind.
To keep in the happiness,
A game of pretend,
To ignore my mind and emotions.
The pain that comes with darkness.
The shining light, that echoes in the darkness.

The mind, clouded with worry, sadness and uncertainty.
Trying to push all feelings out of mind.
Trying to save myself from my demons.

An attempt to hold strong against the dark.
To keep the leeches at bay.
To wipe my mind,
To save the body.

Out of mind is the answer,
Or it must be,
The solution I face,
Only way past it.

Out of mind.
To cope, to save me.

Beautiful Mind

Your beautiful mind,
A world encapsulated,
Pretty and intelligent,
A beautiful mind and kind.

Open, free and radiant.
Funny,
Even to force a smile out of me.

Gentle to the touch,
Deep and thoughtful.

Beauty unquestionable,
Most important,
The mind and heart of gold.
A mind open, smart and capturing.
A heart, kind, sweet and deep.

A beautiful mind,
Trapped in a world-
Unable to compete.

The kindness there,
Worth waiting for,
Left to make my own way,
Hoping for the next day,
To see you, hear your voice.

Here I am,
Happy.
Even when losing my way,
I think back to you,
Your beautiful mind,
The advice you gave.

Oh how I’m stuck in wonder,
At your beautiful mind.