Haven’t really written a blog in a long time, never really do. Doesn’t seem very interesting, or at least that’s me.
But, my poetry has seen a fundamental shift from what I started with. Overcome my demons, overcome the many bad experiences and toxicity I came across.
Moved out and away, with especially one person who showed me the path out, unknown to them, even what I went through. All of the friends who helped me along the way, I shall never forget the help you’ve given me.
I am healthier, in every way, happier, with my Masters going so very well, meeting people who are so interesting, embarking on my interests, aims and long term goals and finally finding someone who I would really like to get to know better, but not for toxic or hurtful or shackled reasons but for relaxed, nice and kindness.
Lots of things have changed, don’t see friends often, one thing I feared about going on from my Undergrad, but my greater happiness shows me wrong on that front.
It does make the times we all can meet even special.
Thanks to everyone on WordPress for putting up with my rants and poetry, Dark and meaningful but resonating with the me as I wrote it.
Poetry has consumed me, I still intend to write sad poetry, and happy poetry and everything. Always reflecting my mood as a write it. My best friend agreed with me in saying I can only write poetry when I am feeling the emotions I’m writing about. Despite terrible suggestions I’ve heard to write happy poetry to make yourself happy. That isn’t how it works.
Poetry can shape your feelings, if the latter have already been shaped but merely forgotten.
Finally in my life, and I mean in my life, for the first time. I’m feeling better, and not merely for a day, but for longer periods of time. Generally good. With good days and bad, (to be expected). But I can cope with both much better. I’m poorer than I’ve ever been, but also happier.
Especially I have three people to thank. For generally elevating my mood, showing me the way forward, even with tiny acts that they would never consider helpful.
Thanks L, R, H.
Thanks L, for showing me the world, what it all can be, talking to me, when you were yet a stranger, thinking me unusual for not talking or saying “Hi”, and I, having given up, yet continuing living, was trying to kill all the feelings I had come to hate. Where ‘feelings’ or ‘emotions’ were only filled with pain. You showed me how mere kindness can help someone truly change their life. I have undying gratitude.
Thanks R, for being with me, being there for me, through so much, I cannot even remember or imagine. And continuing. I’m glad everything is going well for you, your relationship, job and everything. Definitely deserved. Even remember meeting on my graduation day. Can never forget. Was an amazing day. Was amazing to share that day, and much of the year with you.
Thanks H, despite the little time I’ve known you. The meeting out of nowhere, by chance and nearly missed. You, totally, grabbed my attention. Even if I tried to avoid it, couldn’t escape it. Wouldn’t want to. Everything going well with me, what I’d love most, is to get to know you better. The kindness shown that single time we met, lots of small acts, small things you said. Grabbed my mind. Kindness, out of nowhere and… indescribable through words. Only hope my recent happy poems can try and give it justice.