How To Break From – Part 2: The Return

A path left open,
Another shines the light.
To give you reason.
To climb out of the darkest depths there are.

Not to give you life,
To give you strength,
To go grab it for yourself.

Shining on high.

With their own demons.
But able to shed light.
To pull another,
From their darkest depths.
To make a return.

A return to life,
A return to existence.

In the mere little moments.
A world in my eyes.
For giving me the smallest moment,
Is a break from…
The world of darkness.

The Angel of my eyes.
For giving me a chance,
For giving me.
Strength to make my return.

 


A poem, I wrote thinking of you, of how you helped me, more than you know, more than you’ll ever know.

I found my strength,
As you opened a hand out for me.
With a mere smile, a ‘hello’.
A kindness, I remember with all my heart.

Written 30/Oct/2017 1:50pm UTC – Unsure when I’ll publish this.

How To Break From – Part 1: The Break

The break.
To turn the mind against itself,
To make constant pain for itself.
To break oneself again, and again.
Any feeling to be broken down and apart.

To story of breaking from.

To see them.
The mind fills with pain.
The hands shake uncontrollably,
With heart beating fast,
Almost bursting out your chest.
Having to turn away and run.
The mind plagued for a time after.
The memory,
You apply the pain to yourself.
Until it’s what you’re used to.

Living in pain.
Until it’s all you know.
A daily torment of the mind.
Eventually, it becomes you.
The ever-pain.
Going through life like a ghost.
Wanting to move on.

All the pain.
From your own hand,
Your own making.
To break from.
Allow a movement away.

Turning a good memory, toxic,
A kindness, harsh,
The fun, a form of torment.
An architect of my mind,
Turning it all against me.
Left alone, a demon in the dark.
Clawing out,
Clawing in.

Until the feeling stops.
Not only one,
All.

 


For my friend on Moodtrack. Who is looking for a way to get past, looking for a way to break from.

This is how I did.

It works, but it takes its toll.

It’s a method, I wouldn’t recommend to anyone, hence I haven’t mentioned it to you if you’re reading this.

Truthfully, it’s like death.
To escape death.
A death of the mind, but continuation of the body.
Feeling an empty vessel.
Devoid of all emotions.
Left a wasteland,
As I had torched my mind.
Of the memory,
Of it all.

It’s not all totally depressing. There’s a second part, first is the wrecking, tearing yourself apart from within the mind. Turning everything sour and dark. But after, in my experience, a rarity, but happens by chance. If you leave a path for someone else to walk. To take a peak, to reach in and, give you light. So you can climb out yourself.

Written 30/Oct/2017 1:30pm UTC – Unsure when I’ll publish this.

Beyond Heart’s Mention

The good times,
The fun ones.
Beyond heart’s mention.
Of the heart and of mind.
Hoping you never read this.

I try to go back.
Always hurts the same.

You,
One who helps,
One who listens,
Always kind.
Even if kept from my mind.

Always there,
If ever you need.

Never to be your burden.
For my mere problem.

I would love,
To back to where we were.

I’m there.
Always to call,
Always to listen.
Though I may have to keep my distance.

Know yourself,
Your strength.
The path you will forge.

The times once past.
Lost into time.
Remembered always.
Through the end.

Always, in memory.
In the depth of goodbye.

Just you escape.
Go on,
As you will.

I believe and hope.
Better without me there.

Just you, who needs to believe.
Forge your path,
Tearing apart the rough.
To forge it through.
Till your will.

To forge our paths,
Without question.

Beyond my mention.
My say.
With great reluctance.

Words from the soul.
Disappear with the awakening of the mind.
To make it easier.

In the end.

It’s beyond heart’s mention.


My drunkest poem recently, my most heartfelt,

Hoping for the best, even if I’m not there.

Drunkest but heartfelt and sincere.

Nine Inch Nail’s “Hurt”, my inspiration.