A Doorway Goodbye

That doorway goodbye.

Timid, quick, apprehensive.
You, just as me.

The goodbye, promise of a continuation.
Knowing it would never come?
Oh how you walked out the doorway.
Running out, to try. I tried.

Only to see you, standing there.
Tear running down your cheek.
A sad smile,
A promise.
A underlying sadness.
The sadness of this goodbye,
A microcosm of the unknown.
To be left unopened.

A picture I wont forget.
You.
Standing in that doorway,
Tear-on-cheek.
For that doorway goodbye.

A message unspoken.
Moment shared.
Our goodbye.
Our moment.

Our shared times,
Flashing before my eyes.
The laughs,
Shared conversations.

That time,
Laying in your bed.
You looking me in the eye,
Straight through,
Into my soul.
And I into yours.

A doorway goodbye.
Moments grabbed from reality.
With this doorway goodbye.

---

Another storyesque poem, one that follows on from “That Beach Sunset. The Last Night Together“. A continuation. Of the story. The end to the story, most likely, and for now. But most likely the end.

Again, I say that I’m not unhappy, I’m happy and okay, just thinking to a memory. Happy, sad, nostalgic and remembering. I’m good.

That Beach Sunset. The Last Night Together

That beach sunset, our last night together.
Sitting next to you,
Cider in one hand,
Yours in another.
Your head resting on my shoulder.

Orange sunset,
The horizon bright and warm,
Going to fade.

Our last night together,
Sitting. Silent. Together.

Happy, yet also sad…
In the moment.
Silent.
In each other’s arms,
Watching the warm sun-glow,
Fade in the sky.

How you turn your head,
Look me in the face,
Smile and laugh.

The sunset. I see. I feel.
My sunset.

---

A poem where I’m experimenting with a new type, partly fictional poems, where I create a scenario, a scene, place myself within it inside my imagination and let the feelings flow from that. Similar to what I usually do, but more abstract, and a mixture between fiction, truth and experience in different combinations.

My intention is that the mixture will be between feelings, thoughts, scenarios and worries.

To Start Afresh

To start afresh,
Needs a change,
To throw away the old,
Make anew, renew, refresh.

How is this to be done?
Throwing away my memories,
Mind, emotions and self.
To make a change.

A well-needed change.
A time afresh.
Waiting,
To make this change.

Make myself anew.

It is hard.
But must be done.

The pain of now,
To alleviate the pain of a tomorrow that hasn’t come.

Off I tread,
To start afresh.

---

I don’t know if the poem sounds bad or that I’m down, but I’ve really had a nice day and a post I have read on WordPress has got me thinking.

Reblog: Shift

This is such a good piece. Has inspired me to write some poetry. One like my normal about feelings, but another type I’ve been wanting to try for a while, poetry based on a partly-fictional story.

Thanks Chris for the amazing post. A lot to think about, teach and learn. But lessons are always hard to learn, especially when it comes to the heart. In my own experience a couple of times, sometimes you need to rip it out to start afresh.

The Renegade Press

 “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

• Dr. Seuss.

I recently had a moment…

It was one of those moments when all the pieces of the puzzle that we call life suddenly fall into place, and for a brief instant everything that you have ever lived through begins to make sense. I was at the beach, lying on a blanket beside a girl. Her dog was excitedly climbing all over us, causing sand to stick to our sunburned skin. She was laughing hysterically, apologising on his behalf as she began throwing a stick for him to chase. I leaned towards her and planted a kiss on her shoulder, feeling something monumental shift inside my chest when she turned to meet my gaze and kiss my cheek.

I know that what I’m about to say sounds terribly clichéd, and some…

View original post 915 more words

Breathing Deep

The time,
Breathing deep,
Breathing in.
The time impossible to find.

A strength coming,
In, through,
The air.
Revitalising.
Bringing strength within,
To the fore.

Bringing forth my raw strength.
Moving on, in, through.
Breathing in and making through.

The gentle happening,
Golden strand,
Life, being, love and kindess.
This is me.

A strand running deep.
Deep with me.
Inextinguishable.
To my core.

Breathing deep,
Coming together.
Living life.
Being me.

Ordinary Perfection

Ordinary perfection.
From your small kindness.
Something simple,
Something small.
But for me, it’s
Meaningful and perfect.

To know someone cares,
Someone understands.
I hope to show the same kindness.
Understanding, care, and compassion.

So perfect,
Kind, caring.

A laughing moment,
Joking moment,
Casual moment,
Working moment,
Stressed moment,
Fun moment.
Many moments,
Small, ordinary moments.
Nice perfect moments.

Someone I deeply care about,
Who can always rely on me.
A person who embodies perfection,
Of the best kind,
A real, ordinary perfection.

---

Writing, feeling much better. Thinking of the friend who helped me tonight.

The title could be misconstrued, I mean how some such ordinary or small things can be the most perfect.

Like my friend Ruby giving me their favourite book that reminds them of me, it was so so similar to me, and I kept finding more things to relate to.

My friend I mentioned earlier, just really care about them, always hoping that they’re okay, always wanting to help when I can. They’ve been so nice and are one of the best people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Someone who, somehow, unbelievably, brightens my day when I see her, even if I’m stressed or worried, just seeing her, somehow changes that.

Such a Good Day

Such a good day,
A golden shine,
Kind time.

A simple day,
A nice one.
The sun, coming out from behind,
The temporary storm clouds.

A small act of kindness,
Small kind measure,
A kind, blissful day.

On such a good day,
Such a good time.
Blissful,
Kind.
Simple and blissful.

Warmth,
Chasing the cold darkness away.

So many feelings,
On such a good day.

---

Having a much better day, had a bit of trouble earlier, overthinking, and thinking. Just took me down. But actually, looking back on it, have felt much happier today, it’s been amazing.

Funny how a simple act of kindness can change something, can help, can be really kind and considerate.

Anger for a Lie

The lies you shared,
Refusing me the dignity of being,
Leaving me in torture,
Under your foot.
Broken and controlled.

Only others showed me your lies,
Gave me decency on your behalf when you refused.
Showed me basic human respect when you denied me.

Thrown off my chains,
Tearing my self out,
Out of the hurtful lies,
The bad situation.
The wrecked mind I had to piece back.

You, the orchestrator of my demons’ symphony.

---

Thinking of the past, how someone treated me, something I tried to forget. But stuff is happening like the same as before.

Finished writing later, not feeling so bad, a walk home, time to think, space, some good news and errands has put me in a better mood.

Acceptance.

Acceptance,
The realisation.
The move onto the next.
Knowing the path I must take.
Yet I’m not upset,

Demons clawing at me,
I, refusing to back down.

Hurting me,
Close yet also afar.
Trying to hide it,
But it only hurting further.

Time has come.
To rip out the pain.
To gain control and of self.

Cutting Myself Off

Cutting myself off,
Misunderstood, left in the unknown,
Unable to help those I care about.
Left out of the picture.

Patterns repeat,
Pain comes again.
Being warned away,
But not taking heed.
Needing to cut off.
To save myself.
Needing to cut off,
To protect, to help, to live.

I do not want to,
Cut away the feeling.
But it may save me,
By killing a major part.

A decision of me,
Decision of mine.
One I do not want.
Cannot take.

Funny,
How some things change.
How most others stay the same.

---

Feeling quite sad, sad I cannot help, that they do not know. The latter is for the best, but brings me great pain.

Considering legitimately, now, the first time in a long time. To cut myself off.

They have a friend, do not need me. I’m only the help for work, company or motivation.

I can do all those things for myself, but not worth doing it for another, if it only brings pain. But that’s the hard part.

It doesn’t only bring pain, but brings something so worth it, the feeling, that it makes the pain worth it.

I know this feeling, may be overthinking. But even then, one truth I know, my overthinking, is usually right, is the truth, but one I do not want to come to terms with. I need to. I have to.

Seems like it’s decision time for me. One I will make tonight, one way, or another.