Finding Me

Finding me,
The figure standing in the pass,
The dark path ahead to navigate.

The stormy seas within my mind,
Sadness drowned out by the walk.
My path, my aim.
My only way out.

Loss, a familiar friend.
Of everything.
Friends of a time.
People I have to let go.
Others I escape.

The passing,
Moving,
On.
Into the darkness.

Upset at the lonely path I walk.

But walking with an aim in mind.

Wishing for company,
But for now I walk.

The lonely figure in the midst of night,
The star-speckled night sky.

People massing,
Time flowing.
Thoughts remaining.

An linear oblivion.

An existential pathway.

Finding me on this path.
Alone, wanting company.

But for now I go on.
Finding me.

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Final Goodbye

The memories,
The little moments,
Most casual chats,
All, being nice.
Those little things.

Never seeing how others see you.
I, always wanting to help.
But it kills me inside.

My biggest fear,
Realised, in seeing you again.
But totally worth it.
You are, believe it.
But I must stop.

You’ll never know,
Never see,
How much I want to hang out.
How this question within my mind,
Bringing dread and confusion.
Weighing on my mind constantly.

What I want most,
You to be happy, healthy and moving on to a bright future.
Wishing I could be there,
But knowing, I shouldn’t.
No matter how much I want.

Having to hate you,
To save me from feelings of care.
Ashamed and hurt by this end.
But no other path before me but relentless pain.

I’m sorry.
Like you will never understand.
To my core,
But given tough choices,
A step must be taken.

Having to tear apart the best parts,
Of us hanging out.
Finding the worst,
Holding them, as if they were the only.
Will be for the best.

Me to move past,
You to work on more important things.


Wrote a while ago and found the draft of this, I poem I like and also don’t. It’s complex. Not feeling too down right now, not as much as this shows, but… it’s meaningful and was hurtful when I wrote it. Not the same as it’s published date. Wasn’t sure about publishing it.