My Realisation

My realisation,
My awakening.
The knowing.

The pain and heartache,
The happiness and bliss.
The realisation.
My pain.
Also happy.
Confused realisation.

Sad acceptance.
Continued path.
Off and onwards I march forward.
Into the bright unknown I have built for me.

Sad existential angst.
The heartache,
Ever-present but controlled.
Controlled but felt.
Felt but buried.

How I reconcile,
The unknown next step I’ll handle.

Burying,
Both the most dear,
And the most hurtful.

A golden time.
Clinging onto the bright horizon.
Even faced with the dark storm.

My realisation.

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Sad Beauty

Sad and in awe,
Your beautiful and don’t see it.
Kind, and funny.

I sit in awe,
Sit in pain.
Feelings awoken.
Too much to bear.

How your text lights up my day,
Grabs my attention.
And I can’t say goodbye.

All I can’t say,
To save you pain.
That I place on myself,
Happy for your feats.
Don’t want to let go.
Even if it tears my heart.

To save you pain.
A price I’m willing to pay.
For those smallest of moments.

Those lies I tell.
The truth I hide.
The truth I keep inside.

To save you pain.
To see you smile.

A sadness to the beauty,
The pain I see in you,
Those few times.

Wanting to take them away.
The want, to shoulder your burdens.
To give you smile,
As I hide my tears.
Hide the sadness.
Behind the happiness.
From those smallest moment.

All hidden,
Behind my smile.
My smile sincere.
Without saying the full truth.
A truth that you shouldn’t have to burden.

A sadness, my sadness.
Behind your beauty.
Hidden in your presence.
Hidden by your presence.

As I look up.
To see your beauty,
In every way.
The happiness and sad,
Behind my smile.