The Hurt Of Love

The hurt of love
A hurt of care,
A hurt of kindness.

Wanting to help in those darkest times.
Caring, wanting to help.
The pain of being away,
Wanting to be close.
Anticipation of the time we’ll be close.
Hurt knowing,
The truth of how I feel will hurt you.

The truth of love,
It comes with hurt.
Overshadowed by blissful joy,
Every insignificant moment,
Everything to your eyes.
The flame that lights up the night.
That chases the cold away.

This pain, always overshadowed.
By the joy of being close,
The anticipation in those lonely nights,
When I get to see you again.

A dichotomy of existence,
The pain from love.
But love throughout all pain.

Waiting for another moment.
Another insignificant moment,
To consume me in feeling,
In bliss.

A love to pull others out of darkness,
As it does to me.

A love to share in solace when hurt strikes,
Strikes you or me.

An unconditional thing.
A small thing.
From a text in the morning,
A text before bed.
A text after your achievements.
A text to comfort your falls.

Small, but significant things.

To brighten up a day.
To remind you of your strength,
To console you in your hurt.

To be there.
No matter the distance.
No matter how far you go.
A care continues.

Pain from seeing you hurt,
A pain worth fighting,
To help you get better,
To comfort when help is something I cannot offer.

Oh how love hurts,
The pain, that comes with love.
A good pain, one that pushes you forward.
To be better,
To be yourself.
To extend your arms into the warm sunlight.
To make your world your own.

The pain of love.

Curious Forgiveness

Curious forgiveness,
Why have you forgiven me?
After all I had done.

Believing in me to want to see me again,
After all this time,
After all I had done.

Giving me time,
To find my strength to recover.
After I had done.
You were there behind me.
Pushing me forward,
Even though I pushed you away.

You never left my mind,
Even as I tried.

Somehow you forgave me.
Stood by my side,
Even from afar.
Something I’ll never forget.

Always hoping for your best.
Even away from me.
Wanting to help,
To protect you,
Even from me.

No matter how far you are,
How far I push you away.
Your interests are always at heart,
Even if it may not seem.
My belief in your potential greatness.
In you.

Never wavers.

A curious forgiveness.
My curious care.

Oh I Wish I Could Say

Oh I wish I could say.
How I feel,
How I did feel,
How I do feel.
It hurt you the last time.
Crushed me before.

I’ve tried forgetting, tried burying and tried ignoring or distracting too.
Always leading.

Confusing feeling,
At peace when with you,
Not knowing what to say, when, how.
Even worse,
Knowing the pain I could cause.
Easier to live with this pain and hurt,
Knowing you’ve spared another.

Maybe I should forget it.
Disappear without trace.
I’m addicted,
To your smile,
Your laugh,
Your beauty and kindness.

So much my thoughts,
My feelings hurt me.
Hurt that I have them after so long trying to crush them.
I have stopped trying to crush what I cannot.

Oh I wish I could say,
Would you hear me?
Would you hate me,
Like in the past.

I know.

Better and stronger as I am.
My feelings,
My weakness and strength.

Oh I wish I could say,
How I feel.
Either way, if I don’t.
I’ll be gone without a trace.

Oh I wish I could say.

I think I’m okay, recently despite sad poems sometimes I have felt better than I have in honestly I would say years, if not my whole life. But because I’m better than I have been before doesn’t mean all is calm, good or easy. So I think to try to wrap my head around and try to resolve. This only brings me down further, my constant overthinking.

But I honestly am okay,

I write what I feel in the moment, even if very fleeting, I write what I am thinking if I’m not even feeling it. I write to clear things up, to put out a word of my confusion even if I am very happy.

I write to capture a finite moment of thought

Complicate My Mind

Complicating my mind,
Feelings and thoughts running wild.
Thought of:
And love.

Oh, how you complicate my mind.
All so simple when you’re around.
A world gone true.
Simplified into one.
All true and nice.

Oh the complicated workings of my mind.

Simplified for a time.

How you complicate my mind.
But make it simple and true.

Different Path

Treading down the other path,
The different path.
Away from what has been.

Unfamiliar and new,
New and in the making.
Forming it piece by peace.

Making anew,
Forming mine,
In an attempt to clear the mind’s confusion.
To fight the demons of the mind,
To clear a path through the thick fog.
Shining a light into the dark confusion,
Making a new way,
A new path.
A place to go.
A refuge for me.

Making this different path.
A fixed me.
One in the making.