Fighting The Pain

Fighting the pain,
To be stronger,
To pick up my pieces. Fix them.
Move into the light.
As it recedes away.
And on I fight.

Better than I was before.
Trying to keep the fight.
Fight for me.

Fighting the pain as it comes my way.
Winning the fight for me.
As it grasps hold.
I fight.

The demons show their face,
Out of the prison I confined them.
To show me their ugly face.

On I must fight.
I know the cause.
Know the next step.
On I must fight.

A fight for my future,
Fight for my day.
Fight for me.
Tears running down my cheek,
Determination at my sleeve.
Knowing the struggles ahead.
I will win.
As I’m fighting the pain.

Don’t worry, just having a bad night. Overthinking is the cause. Haven’t had one like this in a while.

It’s okay, I’ll fight through. I’m not going back to where I was before. Never again. I’m much stronger.

Slipping Through the Cracks

Slipping through the cracks,
My sorrow kept under control.
Now unleashed into my mind.
My overthinking,
Over and over the waves of pain hits me.

Slipping through the cracks.
A pain.
Trying to forget,
In desperation to ignore the pain.
Thoughts racing,
Mind turning.

The pain, returning for a time.
A long time gone.
Returning yet again.
Emotions running wild.

Trying to gain control,
To gain control,
My thoughts running wild.
My downfall.

The return,
The focus,
The attempt to not see.
The attempt to forget.

Slipping through the cracks,
The defences of my mind.
A pit of black.

To wait it out till morn.
A rough night to come.
Memories of the pains of my past return.

Knew the day would come.

As all from before.
Comes slipping through the cracks.
For a time.
Before I find the path, again.
My legs to stand on.
Before then, the pain comes.
Slipping through the cracks.

Lies Of The Past

Those lies of the past.
Scarring to the present.
Fuelling my demons’ grasp.

Rage at the hurtful lies you told.
When all I wanted was the honest truth.
Didn’t I deserve that mere kindness?
Kindness for another human.

Making trusting all that much harder.
Hurting me all the same.

Breaking all my strength.
Was it fun? To see me crumble?

To see my heart, my soul, fade to black.
Watching the demons drag me under.
To those dark depths.

The lies of the past long gone.
Scars, a reminder.
Of the pain of the lies.

The lies of a past long gone.

Poem thinking about the past, getting things out, listening to sad songs (probably not helping). My therapy. My healing. I’m doing okay, but have been better.

This Happy, Caring Feeling.

This happy, caring feeling.
A warmth when the world around is cold.
The dark winter night surrounding.
But I feel warm and light.

Caring, in every way I can.
Feeling, it to my core.
Happy, to help with the smallest of things.

A feeling, another, I cannot describe.
I can’t fathom,
But only feel.
Feeling in the moment,
A fleeting, passing moment.
A moment, where all there is,
Is care.
Is love.

Wanting the best for another,
Hoping and doing all I can.
Supporting, in the only way I am able.
Willing, their best to shine through the darkness.
Out into the dark, for them to make their light.

A happy, caring feeling.
One I grasp,
One I hold.
Never wanting to let go.
The moment may pass.
But the feeling cannot.

I grasp hold,
To care for another.
To wish their successes.

I grasp hold. Wanting to care for them more.

But for now.
I hold.
Onto this happy, caring feeling.