Hate that I Love You, But I Do.

The dichotomous feelings,
I hate that I love you,
Always caring about you,
Always thinking,
Wanting to help,
Be kind, be nice.
To show you how beautiful you are.
But I do. I care.

Why do I hate this so?
The pain of seeing you hurt,
The pain of slipping away.
The pain of the slight word,
Or the hurtful comment.
Enough to crush me,
Yet I continue on.

I cannot explain,
I care, but I hate it, but love it too.
I would do anything I can.
Knowing I may learn to regret this.
But hoping I won’t.

I care,
And hope to help.

Poem I’m writing, after the time I came up with the title, (9.30pm 28/11/17 – when I came up with the title and ‘felt’ the poem). I date it to when it was written completely. While writing later is for convenience as I may not have time in a busy day of work.

Wrote, thinking of someone I truly care about, where I cannot explain. But I hate that I do because it hurts, it may hurt them. But don’t, because of the feeling, the care the warmth. My only answer? Not to think about it, to push away the pain, for another time.

I again, I am okay now, feeling better than when I came up with the title. I really am in a great mood, but just overthink far too much unfortunately. It’s okay and I am really good! I wrote the title, and didn’t want to leave it unfinished.

Idea 9.30pm, 28/11/17

Note to self: Most poems are published when written (and title made up). The few tonight are an exception I had made the names of the poems, while feeling them. Now I only need to write the rest and publish:

Memory of a Time
Reluctant Tear
Hate that I Love You, But I do.
To Bear the Rough


4 thoughts on “Hate that I Love You, But I Do.

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