Such a Good Day

Such a good day,
A golden shine,
Kind time.

A simple day,
A nice one.
The sun, coming out from behind,
The temporary storm clouds.

A small act of kindness,
Small kind measure,
A kind, blissful day.

On such a good day,
Such a good time.
Blissful,
Kind.
Simple and blissful.

Warmth,
Chasing the cold darkness away.

So many feelings,
On such a good day.

---

Having a much better day, had a bit of trouble earlier, overthinking, and thinking. Just took me down. But actually, looking back on it, have felt much happier today, it’s been amazing.

Funny how a simple act of kindness can change something, can help, can be really kind and considerate.

Anger for a Lie

The lies you shared,
Refusing me the dignity of being,
Leaving me in torture,
Under your foot.
Broken and controlled.

Only others showed me your lies,
Gave me decency on your behalf when you refused.
Showed me basic human respect when you denied me.

Thrown off my chains,
Tearing my self out,
Out of the hurtful lies,
The bad situation.
The wrecked mind I had to piece back.

You, the orchestrator of my demons’ symphony.

---

Thinking of the past, how someone treated me, something I tried to forget. But stuff is happening like the same as before.

Finished writing later, not feeling so bad, a walk home, time to think, space, some good news and errands has put me in a better mood.

Acceptance.

Acceptance,
The realisation.
The move onto the next.
Knowing the path I must take.
Yet I’m not upset,

Demons clawing at me,
I, refusing to back down.

Hurting me,
Close yet also afar.
Trying to hide it,
But it only hurting further.

Time has come.
To rip out the pain.
To gain control and of self.

Cutting Myself Off

Cutting myself off,
Misunderstood, left in the unknown,
Unable to help those I care about.
Left out of the picture.

Patterns repeat,
Pain comes again.
Being warned away,
But not taking heed.
Needing to cut off.
To save myself.
Needing to cut off,
To protect, to help, to live.

I do not want to,
Cut away the feeling.
But it may save me,
By killing a major part.

A decision of me,
Decision of mine.
One I do not want.
Cannot take.

Funny,
How some things change.
How most others stay the same.

---

Feeling quite sad, sad I cannot help, that they do not know. The latter is for the best, but brings me great pain.

Considering legitimately, now, the first time in a long time. To cut myself off.

They have a friend, do not need me. I’m only the help for work, company or motivation.

I can do all those things for myself, but not worth doing it for another, if it only brings pain. But that’s the hard part.

It doesn’t only bring pain, but brings something so worth it, the feeling, that it makes the pain worth it.

I know this feeling, may be overthinking. But even then, one truth I know, my overthinking, is usually right, is the truth, but one I do not want to come to terms with. I need to. I have to.

Seems like it’s decision time for me. One I will make tonight, one way, or another.

Blog of an Overthinker

A blog, about my overthinking.

The poems written today, all to do with my overthinking. They seem negative, even if they are, I am okay and do not mean them as such. I use poetry to get overthinking out and off my chest.

A really close friend of I, bumped into me today, they brightened up my day, and saved me from overthinking and put me in a good mood for the rest of my shift at work. For the rest of the day.

Overthinking is a battle, for your own mind, yourself.

It’s caused me heartache and depression for, multiple times and such lowest depths.

But honestly I am okay, overall greater than I have been for such a long time, feeling much better. I have gotten stronger. I will overcome all my struggles.

But one thing I haven’t lied about. The love and care, I hold for this person, but also that I do not want this care to hurt them. But I care about them and will do what I can to help.

Poems today, a product of overthinking:

Memory of a Time
Reluctant Tear
Hate that I Love You, But I do.
To Bear the Rough