Ask You

To ask you,
Oh all the questions.
Questions to ask you.

You keep me,
Want me to stay,
I won’t go,
I would never want to hurt you.
But being there.

All those amazing times,
Take their toll.
‘Weird’.

You ask me to stay.
Of course,
A part of me dies every time.
Do anything to see happy.

Some things you say,
Reminds me of the hurtful words of the past.
That I look back upon,
To remember the sadness.

And so I ask.
Why keep me around?
A weirdo,
Too optimistic, who cares.

Why keep me,
What use do I have?

Thinking.
Oh how I care,
Yet it’s only me.

So I ask you.

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Thinking, listening to sad songs. Probably not a good idea. Thinking about what a friend said. Hurt me said I was being ‘weird’, and that word.

I am okay, just thinking and overthinking as usual. Just thinking and questioning, I shouldn’t. But feelings, care, it all hurts, but as it hurts it doesn’t because some of those moments make it all better, makes everything all better. Makes everything brighter.

She asked me if I was saying goodbye, never was, never meant it like that. But now it’s got me thinking, should I? For my sake?

Oh well, overthinking for now, at least I have Ben & Jerry’s to keep me company.

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Odd Encounter

Such an odd encounter,
Unusal moments,
Out of nowhere.

Pulled out of a haze back into reality,
For an odd encounter.

An odd time,
And from it.
What comes.
From this odd encounter

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Writing this, found a random person and a injured bird, went around with them trying to get the bird some help, sorted it out with the RSPCA that they’ll come by to mine tomorrow to collect the bird.

I’m nursing her until then.

The Way I Try

The way I try,
To be who I am.
To help when I can.
What I do,
Want to do,
Who I am.

All the way I try.
But never enough,
Or always wrong.
But I know,
But always try.

Is there much more,
That I can do?
More than always trying.

Being there,
At any time of need.
Giving my all.
Giving my try.

A care from me,
To always try.

The way I always try,
Try my best,
To try and care.
What more can I do?
Than try,
Than to…
Give my all.

That’s…
The way I try.

Many Things, But Just One

Many things, but just one.
Memories so distant,
But also so close.

Every thought and feeling.
So close even today.
The time worth remembering.
A time mixed,
But also not.

The feelings from a memory.
From a song, a photograph.
Many things there.
But also just one.

Feelings, whole and true.
Kept close,
A quick look,
A reminder of a whole.
Kept close,
Close,
Close to my heart.
Close to my mind and soul.

Many things, but also one.

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Writing this thinking about two photos I have on my phone. Two that each capture a whole night. Two photos that show so much.

Capture feelings from two nights, good and bad. But at the same time, wholly amazing.

Or in other words, Many Things, But Also Just One.