End of a Goodbye

End of a goodbye,
A memory of tears,
Seeing you go,
Out that door, reluctant.
The moment crystallised in memory.
Memory of a goodbye.

The mistake I never said.
A goodbye thought to be final.

And comes the end.
The end of the goodbye.
A time to meet,
Bringing about total, pure happiness.

To know I may see you again real soon,
Something to look forward to.
To think of,
Hope for.

Against all odds.
The end of a goodbye.
A time to meet.
Not expected,
Bringing total excitement and hope.

The memory crystallised in memory,
Our goodbye,
The sight of you leaving.
The tears in your eyes.
The end of our moment.

Here to the now.
The end of the goodbye.

Written, thinking of the goodbye, and how we’re hopefully meeting up again, a good friend, one who helped me through so much, before and now, every moment with them the casual ones cooking, having breakfast, making tea, discussing international relations and even one night drinking and ending up in their bed, nothing much but, it was bliss. They were, are, kind, pretty and amazing.

The poem I wrote, to our goodbye were:

Unexpected Moments

That True Feeling

How I talk of the feeling, the unexpected moment, the simple ‘hello’ out of nowhere. Something, sometime, someone I will never forget.

To My Friends

To all friend’s,
What you’ve done,
For me in the dark.

Sitting with me cross-legged,
Looking at me,
Helping me up,
Looking after what I cannot understand.

The angels helping me.
The truest of friends,
Helping along the path.
Solidarity in a collective stance.
My life-debt for the kindness shown.
Kindness not asked for,
Not yours you had to give,
But yours you gave to help.

You shone the light ahead,
When I had given up looking,
You pushed me along, even as I gave up.

Continuing on,
All from your help.
Able to push myself on,
Thanks to a kindness once given,
Once shown.

The purest of kindness.
To me, my friends.
From me,
The debt I’m always happy to owe.
Always happy to give.
To my friends.

The best people I know.
The people who,
Always have a place in my heart and mind.

To my friends.

Lots of things reminded me of her tonight. Talking of personal stuff, times hurt. Thinking felt and confused.

Always putting the blame on me, always have, even to the last goodbye before the one said recently. Always a read to bring me to tears, tearing me apart. But a good thing in this context. Seeing how I was treated, how I was to them. How I was a fool to believe that they were good.

A dark past, a hurtful time of lies,

Something I can get past, with dear friends, those whom we may never speak, but when we do. Oh when we do. Total bliss, like we hadn’t spent a day apart.

I don’t mean this as a sad poem, it’s happy even if the cause was sad. Sometimes you need to see true sadness to get out, to truly value what you have and who have been there for you as you’ve been broken.

This is dedicated to my best friends in this world, whom I would give my life for, the best people I have ever gotten to know. For you Ruby, Lana and Kayleigh.

This person. I do not know if they intended to hurt me. But from all I can tell, they either chose not to see what was obvious, or did it intentionally. I’ve stopped hurting myself for what was done to me, for caring when I was hurt and accused for merely this. I will not hide myself or my poetry or my life because of hurtful people.

I’m entitled to live, without caring for another more, especially as they’ve crushed me.

Thanks to my friends for showing me this, all along even if I didn’t, couldn’t, failed to see. I did at a time before I gave in again. It won’t happen again, I promise you.