Feelings Out of the Blue

Feelings,
The calm blue wave.
The sea, in peace,
With the open sea breeze.

Washing in,
Renewed.
A world made fresh.
The horizon ahead clear,
A pure beauty,
Simple happiness,
A gift of being.

Feelings out of the blue,
Like the golden memories,
Meeting you, all.
Out of nowhere.
A night, amazing.
Feeling, living.
A feeling without just that,
In the moment, being,
Without the feeling, until the moment passed.


Writing this just really happy, content, stronger and grateful for so many great friends. I’m totally grateful for. They make my life, perfect, to me (an idea for a poem).

Glad for my recovery, everything looking up. The main realisation, that it hasn’t been my fault. I’m not perfect but that’s me, I won’t apologise for that any more and no one will cause me to doubt that.

I will choose, to spend my time with those who care, who I care about and who see me for being me. Sometimes crazy, happy, annoying and funny, and just being me. Like so many of my friends, no, almost all of them, if not all of them. Do.

Turning a new leaf, a realisation and promise behind me.

Leaving mistakes in the past, but learning from them.

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Strength Through The Pain

Strength through pain,
Stronger now,
But hurt inside.
Not hurt now…
But was…

A reminder of the past.
Now long dead to me.
A dark past put behind me.
A realisation of the darkness need to leave to the past.

The strength and good I have found,
I will find,
If only to leave the darkness,
Rest in its grave.

I am happy,
Happier,
To leave the darkness rest,
Looking back,
How far come,
Where I’ve been.

Darkness, trying to follow me out,
And left behind.
Through my found strength.
Now to let the demons take hold.
And to claim a life for my own.

Strength, found through the depths of pain.
Strength,
Through adversity and pain.


Writing this, may sound sad, but it really isn’t, better, happier, but even better, with a realisation not to make the same mistakes of the past. To let the past die when it is hurtful, harmful and dark. Especially if it continues that way, corrupting the light.

Feeling content, feeling recovered, being home and seeing old friends has helped.

Thanks to, R, L, H, A, and K all for the help, from an unrelated chat to giving advice and support despite my reluctance and stubbornness to listen 😝 it is soon Christmas and I’m wishing you all the best!

Memory, Back in that Dark Place

Back to that dark place,
The unfeeling,
The empty times.

Long behind me,
But never too far from a mere slip.

Never forget,
The help given by kind friends,
Those few golden souls.
Never forget the troubles passed.
The parts inside,
That died, to keep the whole alive.

A painful feeling,
Worse than pure pain,
One where all is nothing,
No good, no bad ugly or glad.
Everything. The same. As nothing.

The purest darkness,
Not dark, but blank,
The most hurtful feeling,
Total lack thereof.

Memory of that dark place.
No idea of how I escaped,
Except a name.

A miraculous feat,
One to remember,
To keep and hold dear.

To fight the darkness calling.
To make everything bright.
Throwing out the poisons of my mind and heart.

Growing stronger through hurt,
Growing impatient with the worst there is.

A memory of that dark place,
A horrible dark place,
Light but for one reason.
It acts,
As a warning of what can come again.
If it is allowed to enter my life,
Once again.

A warning for the future.


Thinking of the dark place I was before summer, the place horrid people tried to put me back into, forced me back into. But I won’t go easily. I will rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Old Friends

Two old friends,
Meeting, just like those old times.
Old times long into the past,
Time gone by.

So much has changed,
So have I.
So many things still also the same.

Just two old friends,
Hanging out,
Driving in the wind.
Times like those gone by.

A long time coming,
A long time has passed,
Yet meeting, all just the same.

Just you and me.
A long time waiting,
Those memories kept,
Those times gone and not.

To a new meeting,
Of people new and old.
So much has changed.
So much still the same.

No matter all the changes,
The world, you, I.
Just a meet-up,
You and I.
Two.
Old friends.


Thinking. An unusual poem, not one that has just come to me, because I am actually quite content without any particular feelings. Trying to ‘make a poem’. Saw an old friend. This is a place to start.