Reality Check

What is real?
The feelings,
The hurt, pain
And its cause.

Everyone,
Pointing, the same way, thought, conclusion.
I standing at the crossroads,
Knowing,
Feeling,
Friends pointing.

Yet unsure of the path.
Own self-doubt.
Unable to see my pain,
Hidden by the mind,
Lieing deep.
Hidden by the smile,
The thought.

Looking for a reality check,
A check on my reality.
To feel what is real.
What is now.

Feeling in the moment,
Yet unsure.
The path forking in many places.
Friends showing me the way,
Showing me the way I already knew,
But wasn’t sure to believe.

Did I want to believe,
What happened,
All that happened,
Happening in the moment.

Kind friends,
Seeing the pain,
Before I could.
Watching the drift down the path,
Down the river,
Nearly drowned.
Their hands always held out,
To grab hold.

To save me,
Pure kindness.
Kindness at its best.
Humanity’s purest.
Redeeming,
Kind.

Checking the, my,
Lived reality.
Knowing, feeling, known.
Checking.
To the same answer.
Honesty,
The current life flows,
The way a river goes.

Check,
My reality check,
My lifeline.


Writing this about my tendency to check my personal perceptions of things against other people’s interpretations. To check my own perceptions. An unfortunate side effect of Asbergers. Not feeling bad, having a good day. Just pondering I guess.

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