Just What Matters

Just what matters,
In the most casual moments,
Those sweetest times,
Gone before known,

Nicest times,
Times that are,
Just what matters.

Stuck in place,
Stuck in time.
A good place,
Worried about losing.
Just what matters.

These smallest things,
No one ever understands,
Thinking round and round.
Just what matters,
The feeling,
A mutuality.

Simplest moment,
Without requirement,
Nothing needed,
So nice.

Thoughts swirling around me,
Taking turns to rip at me,
Through this good feeling.
Intertwined with the bad;
The worries, for the end,
Finite reality.

Just wanting,
Caring, for just what matters.
Who cares,
The times too infrequent,
Making up, in simplest perfection.
Oh the worries, thoughts,
It’s about just what matters.

Had an amazing time with close friends, many I haven’t seen in a long while last night. Unusual mood right now, thinking of stuff that has just happened.

Wondering, thinking, my mind bringing discomfort, always thinking. Showing me every scenario, like before a decision when you take half an hour to think of as many scenarios and outcomes as possible and weighing them all up.

Making it exhausting, to merely think, to be, to ponder. I’m feeling amazing, but that’s the thing. Being amazing, with this overthinking, always carries so much baggage. The philosophical thoughts on existence, life, the best piece of advice, from my favourite television show, Rick and Morty, “just don’t think about it”. Isn’t always helpful, not thinking, can often be equated with not living. Then there’s again the crossroads, the ones I mentioned before, choosing being alive or being happy.

I honestly am happy, but. Things. Overthinking, feeling way too happy. The amazing things, amazing people, just what matters, mean everything. Then all the thinking matters, it makes it matter, and throws everything into deep thought and contemplation.