I Try

I try,
Standing in place,
Here, in the world
Here in my place I try.

Doing what I can,
Making a life,
Being content, in place.

Kindness, all around,
My goal,
Having been shown such kindness,
Shown such kindness,
I owe as much.

Doing all I can,
Finding a reason to live,

The place,
A place I fit,

Oh how I try,

Was doing reading, late reading. A memory from today popped into my head, and it made me feel warm, warmer than even when I heard it at the time (my tendency to play these comments off after hearing so many)

But it hit home, when I was doing reading that I had to stop immediately to write this, a colleague, someone I don’t know well at all, two people actually, commented on a recent achievement, and said (more accurate than paraphrasing but not all exactly word for word) “that’s really good, it’s nice to see good things happen to good people, it doesn’t happen that often”. It was sweet and as always, playing it off. Not I don’t believe people are telling the truth when many have said kind things, I believe people are telling the truth, I just think what they are saying is totally true. But either way, all I can acknowledge is that I try, try my best, often fail, be awkward, but it’s okay, because I try.

Thinking on these things, I guess, from a logical perspective, I kind of have to believe people if it’s said so often (the logical reasoning), but I don’t know.

But either way, I only try. Hope that I’m nice, try to be, and hope, even to brighten another’s day for a mere second, it totally would and always has been worth it.

Feeling better, really thankful to all the people who have been helping me, been kind to me, and I hope I can show kindness in return, to any level even if it doesn’t compare to how they’ve made me feel.

I have been thinking, of all the people who have helped me, through a large variety of things, from a massive help like my best friend, to the smallest of things like teaching me. I remember. I hold dear. May even compile a list of people, who have helped, how I feel, what I remember, what values I have learnt from them, but haven’t decided, sounds a bit sad.

But truly, I am grateful for so many amazing people, to have met them.