The memories,
The past.

All gone now.

Maybe yet to come.

Oh how I wish I could hold onto those memories,
Rather than their free-floating escape,
The times, clear in my mind,
The stop,
Lingering conversations,
Jokes and silly times.
Singing along,
And all the while,
Those deep chats,
About intracacies, unknown and known.

Oh how the memories,
Like the time.
Thinking in the mind.

A time gone,
Maybe not long,
Memories held,
Times free-floating.
A future to come,
Whereever it takes me.

Ever-Present Thinking

Ever-present thinking,
All the times,
Coming and going,
The broken times,
And all the rest,
Ups and downs to be found.

With it all,
Running free in my mind,
In all these thoughts,
The puzzle to be found,
Ideas and hopes,
Being in all its forms,
While some things continue,

This ever-present thinking,
Keeping me in place,
Forcing me closer.

The times that all has,
A mixed puzzle.
A puzzled time.

The mixed thoughts,
All spinning round,
In my head,
Throwing me off,
Into a mess of thoughts:
Everything under the sun,
Within the mind.

With my mind ticking over,
Stuck in place.

In this ever-present thinking.

Feeling, not much better but less raw panicked state. Bit of a shitty day, for no reason really. But yeah.

The Off-Shift

The off-shift,
A place of discomfort,
Mind hurting.

Confused, by the own mind’s thinking,
A rough time,
That I know will pass.
A time, I know doesn’t define me.

The off-shift,
From the mind’s equilibrium.
My own mind,
But also stopped in its tracks.

My mind, on its off-shift.
Troubled times,
Will always occasionally return,
Knowing this.

But still,
In the time.

Hope For A Time

The hope for a time,
A temporary feeling,
Knowing of its finite nature.
A quick resolution.

The time to come,
An end nearing,
Mixed feeling,
But life,
Its finite moment.

The time,
Turmoil within the mind.
Breaking from the thoughts,
To live in the life.

Where the possibility taints reality,
The actuality shining away through the maybe.
Oh how the change,
The life, how it, changes.

Moments of being, potential,
Turning into living,
A moment gone so fast,
A blink and its missed,
But always remembered,
Its casual beauty,
Sweetest simplicity.

A sweet song of time,
Timelessness and truth.
Of possibility, fear and courage.

Hope and trials,
Looking into the sunrise,
The orange warmth of light,
The bright new day,
With the close, of the last.

Times, trials,
And on I walk.
To make past,
A reality of change and continuity, familiarity and not.

Oh while this time,
Passes on into time.
I sitting,
Hoping and knowing.
I sit here and smile.

Tear and smile down my cheek,
A remnant of this time,
Shining from the past,
Onto this moment.
With the next still to be formed.
Only a time, to see.
Hope, for a time.

Written listening to Change My Life by Ashes Remain and some Ed Sheeran.

Thinking about a lot, happy but also mixed, so so much has happened recently. It’s so crazy, all amazing, all phenomenal, but still I worry sometimes. It sometimes takes actuality, to show the worries up.

Writing about a lot with this, so much that has happened recently, vague but an attempt at a rambly poem. Aimed to capture the discourse, perception, reality, contrast and brightness, the question and uncertainty, but also hope and feeling.

Shy Tries

The shy tries,
A feeling so weird, warm and worrisome.

Knowing the irrationality,
The mind spinning around itself,
Knowing it to be wrong.

Those shy tries,
Times of doubt,
Shown, nice.
A kindly laugh,
An ask, answer.
Oh the trials, being shy,
Oh how it goes.

A quick poem I wrote a while ago today, or yesterday I mean. Thinking. Quick poem while out and about.

Just The Reason Why

Just the reason why,
All old occurrences, differences, change.
A movement from, change,
Place to,
From which I go.

Just the reason why,
This, tried,
A moment in memory.

Just my reason why,
Through my try,
To make feel.

Times been and gone,
Times to come,
All in the waiting.
Waiting in bliss,
Thinking and hoping.

A beauty of life,
Of which to come,
Beauty to be and form.

Beauty to come,
The merest of day,
Simplest of time,
The time to be,
To wait for the morn,

Oh what will wait,
The times to be,
Beauty to hold,
Making of it,

What this reason why.
The beauty of heart.

In the end,
Words cannot capture,
Just the reason why.

Feeling bliss,
Happiness in the dark,
Time of the being.

Just this reason why,
Beauty of being.

Written, after an amazing night out with my workmates, lots of stuff has happened, so much. So good, lots of deep meaningful conversations, and lots going really really really well. The night ending, throughout at times thinking. Of just the reason why.

Good Deed Done

Good deed done,
Staying up,
A raging fire bright.

The feeling through the night.
This good deed done,
A night well-spent.
Kindness and thought abound.

The place the writing takes,
The world made in the words,
A point made,
A world formed by the words placed.

The kindness of a good deed.
To be let in,
Relied upon and fulfilled.

A quick nice poem as I have to go to bed now, but feeling really good. Nice to be let in, to help, to show and be shown. Haha, just feeling good.

Stay Up For You

Staying up for you,
No matter the distance, or time,
Songs of the night,
Echoing through.

Staying up,
To make sure it’s okay,
Fighting through the night with you.

The night alright,
Waiting up with you.

A world, night all right.
Waiting through the night.

Making sure the night,
Stays bright.
Till what’s needed is right.

Waiting up this night.
A world away,
To make sure,
It’s alright.

For now in this time.
To make the time right.
Through the echoes of the night.

To watch the times past.
The song of the dark,
Lighting up the night.
All the time,
Staying up to make it right.

Trying to be there,
Trying to be free,
To show the echoes,
Of light within the night.

Writing this, was an okay day, mixed towards the end, and alright in the night. Waiting up for a dear friend, to help them out. However I can. Can I help? I do not know, but I know I will try. As I always strive to do.

Wrote this, listening to All Time Low’s Dirty Laundry, Passenger’s Hell or High Water, and Ummet Ozcan’s Change My Heart.

Sweet Closure

Sweet closure,
For all the times past.
Raging past the darkness ans pain.

Moving past.
No shackles to hold me back.
Breaking the chains long holding my brain.

Breaking free.
A rage for life.
Breaking the bonds life brings.
To live,
Free in my life.
A flame burning deep.
Happy in this resistance.

A closure.
The onwards going bright.
Life making kind.
Bringing my being into the world.
Sharing kindness,
Being able to be.

Not afraid of being me.
A rage against the shackles my mind formed.
Breaking out,
This sweet closure in this moment,
My mind.
The world and its bright light,
To consume darkness.
Raging bright,
As everything, going right.
Breaking out, showing myself,
A light of being,

My flawed being,
But no more afraid of being.
Being me.
Trying to be,
Be free.
In totality.

To own my flaws,
Show my heart,
Without being guarded.

Feeling free,
Feeling myself,
Being true.
Truth to the world,
A world found, so sweet.

This time,
Sweet closure, for this time.
Sweet closure.

Think, Feel, Be

Thinking, feeling, being,
In this place,
So gone and the found too.

So much promise,
In this place,
In these times.

Those moments to.
Oh what we do.
This place is too.

Thinking, this place.
Feeling all those times,
Being in the making.
It’s all in this making,
This feeling,
The stars above,
Jealous of a time so sweet.

The world shouting out,
In this ecstasy.
The beauty of the world,
Of the time,
Those times.

The world above,
Right by my side.

Making it now,
Making it through.
This time, place now,
So right.
All these times.
The ones right by my side.
In mind, place.

A world captured,
In those single moments.

Those sweetest times,
The world feeling so right.
For this very first time.

In this to trust,
To be,
To try.

What a beautiful world so pure,
For just the sweetest time.
Just waiting for that next time.

Simple and casual in place.

The past, present, future.
Made so pure,
In this moment.

The time to shout out.

The past not to define my life.
The time:
To think,
Feel and be.

Caught up by the moment.

Shouting the past down.
To a simple sweet closure.

With all the being,
Dark places left behind.
In this time.

Screaming into that past.
It’s not to define,
What I am.
What I try,
Be, me.

What a beauty.
This place, feeling, thinking, being.

All in place.
Just so right.

Talking to a friend on Moodtrack, was good, helped to get things straight in my own head. A fitting conclusion, to past, present and future. Dedicated to a friend so special, kind and nice.

Writing this, stressful but good day. But this chat and thinking has turned a meh day into one so blissful. Thinking. A closure for much past, darkness and off into this light I go. Able to weather all I want.

A rare time, feeling so right but looking back, putting the darkness to rest. The times to remember.

I am feeling so happy, so pumped, should go to bed now but my mind is racing in sweet bliss. I want… need to write more.

Don’t know if this piece is good, or if I will ever read it again, but the feeling I hope I remember. Don’t like reading back my poems, but this one I really like, or maybe the feeling now, the memories, associations.

Wrote a lot of this listening to some All Time Low, especially Missing You.

Thanks to everyone, everyone in my life, on here. Through all the pain, I’ve found a good place, I see much better, still a ways to go but better, much better.