I Am Lost, Empty.

Lost, empty,
The world so alien, so foreign.
Upon waking this morning.

The world empty,
My mind falling.
Claimed by darkness.

Lost for this time.
Motivation lost,
Spinning.
Lost.

In a world, not my own.
Yet also is.

An uncertainty.
It all in flux.

Guity for being me.
Insufficient to cease the pain.
My pain.
My pain in the uncertainty.

Trying.
To look for a reason.
Guilty I may be.
For being me.

Drowning in me.

Drowning myself in work to be.
To try,
Failing to be.

Crying inside me.

Being lost. Empty. Inside me.

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Enigma

Enigma in memory,
A place of being,
A puzzle for us all.

The moment passed by so fast.
Continuing its enigma,

The time and place,
So alien.
Not recognising this space,
A landscape unfamiliar.

Trying to find,
Throughout this enigma.
A world unfamiliar,
Giving glimpses,
Brief glimpses of what I knew.

Before the revelation of the difference,
The lies and the change.

Being followed around by this enigma,
A world enigma.


Writing this thinking, a great night out and day with workmates, so good, ending amazing with someone I care about and like. But then so much happened. Some days when everything is so good, too many things that it confuses me, I know I’m writing cryptically. I guess I’m thinking, trying to sort it all out. Working out this enigma.

Feeling happy, thinking of my crush. Came across them there, totally by accident. Was good to meet up, we started chatting, before they hiccuped mid-sentance and they ran off. Was unbelievably cute and an enigma in my mind.

Mood changed in an instant from writing the last paragraph, mood changed in the time for a thought. Read something another friend sent. Thinking still, the enigma.