Rage Through The Soul

Rage through the soul,
Upon those darkest days.

Throw me what you got!
I’ll throw it back harder!

All the fury,
At trying,
When it is thrown, back into my face.

Rage and anger,
When it is all done.
Rage against the dark,
Those who hurt,
Who try to crush me.
Who breaks into me.

I shall not falter.
I shall not.
I will not.

Hurt. When it all comes.
I try.
It is hurt, broken.
Hate for all.
Breaking away from my pain.
Defying all, as I merely try,
Only to be hurt, insulted.
Rage, fills my soul.
Fills my mind.

Anger at the inconsideration,
The horrible moments,
When those try to crush you.
Filth, fed up.


Wrote this, a rant. Had a very shit day at work. Started okay, as usual, a bit worried, but it was all due to me trying, trying to be better, to work. This is okay, I bring it on myself, as I always try to be better. However, what was horrible was something someone said. Accusations, blame and horrible. Harboured rage and hate for over 4 hours after. How rude! I tried! Tried and was given accusations. Especially who it was, they have a lot to talk about!

Total rage, a person, in their criticism, the most hypocritical. Stupid. Hating trying and being effectively told to fuck off. Terrible, horrible. Leaving me seething. Wanted to just quit on the spot.

Luckily, one thing I’ve learned well, is holding your tongue. It only ends up worse anyway. For the first time, thinking, it’s not worth it. Horrible. Makes all I was okay with terrible, lots of things I was looking forward to, empty. The year not starting, and I already want it over.

No words to describe my outrage, disappointment! Horrid!

Calmed down slightly, since, but still. I cannot forget. Horrid people. This is something I will not forget. Horrid people, with false and unknowledgable accusations, making untrue and uninformed assumptions, coming into something, not knowing and pretending to know all, to enforce.

What’s worse? The rude, uninformed assumption. I’d be okay with a question to make sure, a tiny piece of effort to become informed. But as usual, an example of coming out of nowhere, making an assumption on nothing and pretending it’s law, trying to pass it off as such. Something my Gran always used to say, ’empty vessels make most noise’. Raging at the moment.

Worse still? Fucking simple, kindness, a kind request, for information, or request for a task. Rather that walking it and making it all up, demanding. What I slightly feared, what many feared in leaving, well. Shown to be true. I am not looking forward. I tried to calm down, watching TV. But as usual in my head, nothing changes that this happened. I’m fuming. It will pass. The memory won’t. It never does. Kindness, it doesn’t cost a thing. Nothing. Yet for some it is too much to ask. These are moments when I’m truly sad, at how horrible humans can be, how they can show a lack of consideration.

Especially due to my own preconditions with certain codes I hold myself to, a lack of consideration, is something I see all too often, to say every hour would be a underestimate. But I’m aware of my weird code I hold myself to and that it doesn’t hold true to others. But. At least basic kind consideration. Maybe not as far as my level (probably too much), but maybe something showing consideration of another person’s humanity. It this too much to ask.

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