World Of Worries

Alone in this world of worries,
Taking the risk,
To make and to be,
Feeling all alone.
All the risk taken,
Stepping away from home,
A path into my home.

Help an ocean away,
Left alone.
In this world my own.

The world of worries,
To forge my way to be.

All in uncertainty,
Left, wondering,
Thinking of the path clear, unclear and unsure.
The worries take hold,
And the mind tries to bring me down to the broken depths.

The mind unsure.
As the song goes on,
To resist the worries’ hold.

Letting the past slip past.
The present in the moment.
Worries for a time so far away.
The times so feared.
And welcomed.

The path clearing,
Seeing the path,
But with this,
More fog closes in.

Worries in the path to come.
Am I,
Making the right choice?
Clearer when so far away,
More uncertain when it closes in certainty.

Pondering the times,
And the times to come.

How certainty comes and goes,
One moment to the next.

This world and how it goes,
The world of worries.

Work was stressful today, many thoughts and feelings, good time talking to a friend after. Solidifying the future, and with it, the worries, about the future, if I’m making a right choice. The right choice.

Having lots of support, from many who care. Being overseas from home. Help always there. With so many close, amazing friends close. But still somehow feeling alone, worried. Feeling alone. They all have things of their own. This is good, but I somehow feel alone.

As The Day Goes By

As the day goes by,
Breaking away toxicity,
Left thinking,
Pondering into the night sky,

Being, time and leaving.
As the night comes to take me,
The silence for a time.

The mind is never silenced,
A tortured past,
Scars to be reminded,
Of terrible days gone by.

All in the time,
As the day goes by.

Oh what injustice that can come from living.
Torture a mundane reality.

Getting, already gotten used to the feeling.

With my mind on a plate.

All greater uncertainty,
That is all that it certain.
The mind thinking,
Will is there.
But wondering what is there?
Why to keep on going,
Where torture is normality,
Mundanity from what should not be.

Just another day,
Another time goes by.
Tortured in the mind,
But already-numbed.
To its call.

Has been a good and productive day, nothing really I can fault. But my mind. A mind used to the torture, uncertainty, life. Don’t know why I feel like this to be honest. A better day in the last few, productive and nothing going wrong, but still the feeling. Torture in living. Just living.

Rolling Into, On

Rolling in,
All in the making,
My making,
My path.
In my stretch.

Friends all around,
Future bright,
Will in supply.
A world awaiting.
My step, path.
All falling into place.

Past, memories,
Reconciled in the making,
The making of this time.

The times in the making.
Friends by my side,
With the world for the taking,
A world bright,
And for my making.

Writing, thinking about lots, the past, future and plans. The many amazing people I have met and many lessons learnt and growth for myself and a single important lesson, one was hard to learn, went contra to my whole existence but good to learn and where it stands, to make sure. To face the darkness and leave it to darkness. Some things are better left to their own darkness to allow growth and life to shine.

To Remember

The cherishing of all those moments,
Those chats.
Built on,
A whole world past,
Making and making this mind of mine,
This kind.

Holding the memory in place.
Thanks, place and hope.
That last day shining,
Beauty in the sun,
The world shining bright,
Kindness, cuteness and wonder.

All held true,
Remembering it all,
For what it was.

Brief, kind, nice.
A time.
Hopefully not for the end,
Golden times,
So much, little, casual and kind.
Kindest moments,
Those little chats,
About it all,
All sorts.

To remember.

Happy right now, also little happy-sad, thinking, of memories, times, conversations. Then thought of my unusual memory for social events, remembering it even many times being able to quote 80% of something said. I’ve always known the reason, as a kid, never saw friends outside of school much, so I made sure a time months ago would be memorised for all I could. Something that has come in both useful and maladaptive for my mental health, but overall, almost a world of help and helps to go on, remember and lots of stuff.

Unfortunately this memory doesn’t go into other areas necessarily, work was stressed last night but yeah. Oh well, live in the moment of happy-sad bliss.

Watching It Pass

Watching it pass,
Moments, times,
Of it all,
Receding into the past,
Into what was known,
Gone into the times past.

A broken feeling in my gut,
Piercing like a knife,
But, happy as I go on,
Trying, trying,
The smile put forward,
Hiding the tears behind the face.

How it passes, life,
Of it all, risks, friendships, care.
Walking to their grave,
All along a single path,
A single path tread.

To stare down the edge,
To the dark below,
Only to look, cry,
And fall.

Just thinking of lots, choices, friends, people, life.

The Steady Calm

A steady calm,
Not an unpleasant feeling but mere calm.
As it all goes well,
My mind in place,
Just laying here,

Thinking, wondering, living.
Just here,
All steady and calm,

All it begs is why?

A question of the mind,
Steady in mind,
Steady in kind.
Here it finds me.
For now, it all still.

Steady calm.

Weird mood, I don’t know why, but also kinda do. Feeling steady, calm, empty but not sad. Just unfeeling, not even unpleasant. So normal I cannot believe it. Lots of good things happening, life, friends, other stuff for the future coming together. But in it all, just emptiness, but not sadness. Do not know. But will have to get through.

All Those Times Missed Found

All those times missed,

In their own time,
Their own place.
To be felt,
Through and in it all.

Times of great beauty,
Of old,
And new.

To be held.
Beauty, unforseen.

Mind racing,
Of all that can.

A kind moment away,
Care totally abound.
Beauty in life,
In living life.

Wrote this, after an amazing night out with friends, thinking more about the goodbye and glad for the person doing all these amazing things, not feeling bad at all, just sad that I’ll miss them. Feeling good.


Oh the aftershine,
The moments,
The time,
Beauty in wonderment.
For it all,
For it all.

The aftershine,
A world mundane but for the shine. The world and its people,
Souls, minds and kindness.
Beauty to be found in the darkest of places.

But just take a step,
Delve to try and find,
To be kind.

The once a lifetime moment,
All is clear in the troubles,
The world shown bare,
Truth of the beauty.
A world in its radiance.

The path walked, rather than the one not.
The times,
Random chance and radiance,
From a single step,
Single chance taken.

A dice-roll of life,
Treasure found,
In those most unexpected places,
Those uneventful chances.
Truth and beauty revealed,
In this realisation.
The world,
Speaking of it all.

The bright sunshine,
The winter’s glistening snow,
It all,
Perfection in the world,
In place.

Times, so precious and finite,
But continue to glow, in the aftershine.
A beacon for what may come.

Oh how sweet the aftershine,
A sliver of gold,
Of hope,
Glowing embrace of time,
Moments present,
Moments past.
The looking,
For future moments,
Always cherishing those yet past.

Writing this, listening to some of my old favourite tracks. Stressed out from work, and future and dissertation stuff. But thinking, my mind on one thing. Thinking, the times and feelings, feeling happy-sad, a bittersweet happiness.

Closing Chapter

Chapter to close,
Times finite,
But hopes to hold.

As the world shines,
Beauty, from the finite moment.
Shared in the wondrous moment.
Finite yet good, great, wonderful.

These moments,
As they pass,
Yet leave their mark.
Wondrous, for the times.

Hope, for the future.
So much uncertain,
But hope,
Is certain.

Left thinking,

As this world,
A chapter, to close.
Care in the world,
For the world.

Goodnight and goodbye,
To this night,
This time,
This age.
A wondrous time.

In the moment,
And then to close.

This time.

Left thinking,
Of the amazing world,
That holds.

The beauty of the world,
Living in the present.

This cherished moment,
Giving light,
Through all uncertainty.

In it all.

Looking back,
Through all the times.

All those memories,
Through the chapter’s close.
Beauty in the finite,
In the beautiful moment.

For all those times,
Those gone times.
Beauty beyond the chapter’s close.

A reminder of life,
Those times,
Within it all.

Much left unsaid,
Maybe for the best?
At the chapter’s inevitable close.

So much,
To close on a chapter,
So much with it all.
So much within mind.

Beauty but for…
Beauty within the chapter’s close.
A moment’s finite.
Beauty of life,
The most oddest moments,
Moments of kindness.

Hope in all,
All the future,
And what may come.
Left with bitter-sweet hope.
At the chapter’s close.

The beauty as I stare into the night sky,
A reminder,
Of the close,
Before a new bright day.

The stars,
As they twinkle and shine,
Beauty of the cosmos.
Held, within their moment.

To remember,
The bright closing chapter.
For the hope and light it brings.

Amazing day, with an amazing person, friend. Whom I care so much about. Wish all the best, know all the best will go for her.

In bliss of the memory, of the moment. The beautiful moments.

A happy sad, blissful moment.

At the chapter’s close.

At the chapter’s close.