This Is Not Me

Rise up against this gravity,
Throwing down the past.
Thrown up, in this revelation.

The world in place,
All the recurrences,
Plague of the light.
A light shining to throw away the shade.

The song sounds low,
As being sets in.
The scene, of life.
The horizon in sight.

The sun rising high,
The remnants of the world,
With darkness put aside.

Throwing out there,
The self, power and rage.
To live, to stand.
To make a place.
Against the darkness of the rage.

Standing against the darkness,
The demons that had their grip so close,
The demons within my mind,
Pushed back and out.

A life-line, glimpse into the world.
To grasp-hold,
To make way.

To take part.
Make whole.
Embracing all there is,
What is good, when nothing is left.
This is not me.

This is not me.
In an effort, to find me.
Rage and move into light.

Writing this, after work, felt rough. Been writing this for a couple hours on and off from procrastination on my dissertation. Had a revelation, that’s turned everything down. Something so clear but also not. Something I never thought, tried not to. For its implications about life, people and outlooks. It’s clear, and I’m feeling better, but also hurt by how the world can be sometimes. But knowing. At least knowing.

Mind’s Outspin

The mind in tired panic,
In tired overdrive.

The mind tired of spinning.
Panicked darting,
Trying to calm the panicked spirit inside.
Flesh weak for the mind’s resolve.

Tired of spinning,
Feet tied in place.
Trying to run.
This will pass,
In time.
For the meantime,
Waiting, trying to calm,
The mind’s outspin.

Its raging torrent.
A storm of all proportion.
Raging against the self,
To throw the mind to one side.

Violently raging,
To find the light.
One that came and left.

Raging to find.
To piece together.
To calm, collect and rage into light.

Desperation great,
To look, to find the place.
Finding, looking, trying.

To claim this place,
The calm pond,
The place to find once more.
To be and make.

In this mind’s outspin.

Just tired, trying, tired of the mind spinning.

Devil Inside

Fiery glow,
Indescribable darkness,
From the devil inside,
The hellish presence.
A doomed position.

A gaping maw,
Consuming dark.
The deathly presence,
An end in itself,
A perfect machine of torture.

The devil inside,
The depths of mind.
Clawing at the soul,
Ripping out, from the inside.

Tearing into pieces,
All the good there is.
Ripping out.

This devil inside.


Perspective in time,
Through the fire
And the raging flames.

Gaining greater chance,
To try, to be,

In this world,
A many-forked path,
The path to walk down.

The stayed hand to gain.
The path so fine,
To be, feel and see.
Along this path walked.

Being in this place.
The mind.

Raging against the pain,
Making this mark,
Making it my own,
Staking myself. Into this world.
My place held firm.
The world to recognise.
Nothing else to define me.

My own mark to define the world in front of me.
Standing tall.
Raging into the world so bright.
Making the light shine for me.

A place to be.
A place to call.
A place to stake a chance.
To bring it unto me.

In this place,
Oh how time tries to define,
Tries to make.
I shall stake a claim.
To make a mark.
To do it all,
Try it,
I am here. My own.
To make the chance,
Take a stand.

Time to rage against the pain.
Standing tall,
Standing proud.

To take a stand,
With those I care,
Who care the same.
Nothing to stop or beat me.

Life and its bliss,
At it’s best.

A perspective gathered,
Raging the pain,
In a upward struggle.

To give, make and shine.
To leave a mark, in kind.

Inspired by a friend, been a good day overall, feeling defiant. Raging against the pain. Making a stand, being, living, life.