Song to Close

The song to close,
Small sadness, from it’s ever-gaze.
The song plays on,
Playing on to fade,
As the world fades,
To black.

Reminders, in their time, their place.
The mind,
Living in its wonder,
It’s saddened place.
The mixed times.
Of all this and may come.

The worries of the mind,
Broken, raging and making.
Of all the rage,
Pain and happiness through my heart.

Holding and making it all.
Raging against the life taking it all.
To stand tall,
Shout out,
Make it all.
And throw it out.

This song,
Playing to the close,
The feelings, thoughts and meaning.
A screaming rage out into the oblivion of the world.
Making it shake,
Holding it to account,
Making its infliction on me take note.

This song,
A final song to close.
Raging to make whole,
Make count,
Take notice.

The pain of living,
Life with its happiness,
Pain always there.
An experiencial, existential pain.

Taken and held to make my own.
Ripped out of me,
This song to close,
To take note,
To show,
The pain of the mind,
Its ever-screaming pain,
Only to be silenced,
In time,
To be.

My song to close.

Writing this, good, mixed, thinking, worried, thinking. Pondering. Looking forward to a date, seeing a close friend, fearful about work, my studies and the future. Uncertain and thinking until it pains me, but then I just try to focus.

Thinking of seeing my close friend, other close friends, but still the worries about the future plague me. And with this, pains from the past also flood back. My mind, wanting to rage, to shout and make count. To hold, let no one mistake, the pain inflicted. Don’t ignore the pain inflicted on another. A scar to be held, on your soul. For the hurt on another.

Life judges, the worst people will go down, their terrible natures found, for all to see.

It’s funny this mood, a great day, with my family, at a graduation, but still. Lots of things flooding back, the optimism shown today, my mind is skeptical from my experience of life recently. Thinking, painful, but thinking anyway.

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