Calm Sadness Finds Me

Sorrow, for what I have done.
Mistakes in my past,
A mind burdened,
Able but also not.
An anchor ties to my soul.

A reminder of the horror,
But in this brief moment.
Calming sadness,
Sadness, sorrow.
I understand.
I do, but don’t want to.
But I’m sorry.
But that is never enough.

As this calm sadness finds me.
Like on death row.
Calm in acceptance,
A fate.
My punishment.

Calm in this moment.
I finally get to know,
This pain.
It’s sorrow,
For my many mistakes.

All to say is sorry.
I tried,
I really did.

Calm in the moment.
Realisation of time.

Feeling a little calmer, but sad. You look back and see many of your mistakes laid out. Times you hurt. These act like scars on my skin, even worse, scars on my mind, etched, permanent. Scars. But I try. I try.

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