Past Follows

How the past follows,
Taking hold,
In all those times,
Gripping me close,
Within the dark,
How they never let go.

Forgotten, out of mind,
And then a reminder,
Reminder of the time.

A time out of nowhere,
And hence comes the reminder.
Bringing sadness,
Bringing pain,
Bringing a smile, from the memories.
Alongside the pained times.

Can’t escape,
Never knowing if I really want to,
For I know the path,
Full of hate, a purge,
A path I do not want to take,
Even when I wished it.

Looking out,
Into a grey-lit sky.
Wondering why,
The conflict in my mind.

Two sides,
Two states of mind,
One of feeling and kindness and pain.
The other not spoken of,
Of rage, anger and defiance,
Of power and uncaring.

A choice faced prior,
Faced again many times since.

In every depth, pain.
From one or the other.
Always wanting the other.

A choice,
Always to loom,
Over my mind.
A choice from none,
With no end in sight.

But as I look on,
Off into the horizon.
A small, sad, smile,
Off, into, hoping for happiness and life,
To find them.

Funny how times from nowhere, always something comes back. A reminder so overt. Always, for this topic I cannot escape. Why can’t I escape. From the mind’s chains. Not even sure if I want to, even when I want to.

Let It Be

Let it be,
In the wind of the night.
Whistling past.

Out, sat. Wondering,
Out into the dark sky,
Not knowing what for.

As I watch.
Watching on.
Out into the open.
Just wondering,
To let it be.
To let it lie.

To watch in wonder.
Thinking into the night sky.

As it all tosses and turns,
Into the night sky.
Into the world so calm.
Yet the mind,
Wondering on.
At the beauty.

Off into the mind.
As I, here thinking.
On and on it goes.

The thinking stays.
The times pass.

Watching the stars shine bright.
In the peace of night.

Those stars,
Wondering where they are.

The night to pass.
This night.
Wondering, into the night sky.
To just let it be.