Looking Out, Over Into

As I stand in this moment,
Looking out into,
A world broken,
But at peace,
With the darkness in sight,
In the midnight light.

The mind,
The darkness,
The careful walk,
The knowing tread,
Towards and into.

Looking out at the lights any they looking back.

Into the beyond.
Beyond it all.
And all is left is black,
But that’s fine,
That’s to be expected,
From one who chooses to tread.
Into the darkness ahead.
An unconscious choice,
Always trying to help,
But I can’t,
So it seems.

Seeing the dark,
You are a way away.

But there it feels.
It is and will be.

The darkness doesn’t scare me,
Being used to it all before.

Off into,
The black below.
The dark skies above,
A home I’ve known,
But never wanted.

In the sky,
I look up and wonder,
Staying on,

In the waiting,
The time and the black.

Oh the world,
Spins as it moves,
Passes and grows.

Sitting in place,
The time existing and I wonder,
In place.

Peaceful, letting the darkness grab hold,
Because it used to be my home.
One I know just so well.

Just here,
In place with the darkness all around,
Sitting unafraid,
Just waiting, wondering and pondering.
Sitting in place.
Letting the fade.

As I look out,
Darkness all around,
A known sight,
Looking out.

Into.

Had a shitty day, work was hectic and just tiring. The rest of the day, my mind plaguing me, mistakes I constantly walk into, stupidly. Always the same.

Can’t Help But Think

Can’t help but think,
Feel, see and think.
A time,
One of many past.
Reminders, of all.
Oh how, what?
It all fills my mind.
Drives me crazy, but happy.
Wondering and thinking.

But what?
How?
Why?
Oh my brain hurts,
With all the questions and feeligs,
The being,
Bringing me,
Showing,
Hurting but also showing me life.

I turn away,
Ignore,
Walk down the path,
Shielding from my eyes,
Fearful of pain.
Wondering,
But fearful of the pain already felt,
Already found.
But knowing.
Thinking.
Feeling.
Wishing I could get past.

Oh how I care and it kills me,
Wanting to care,
Give the world,
Be a light shining bright.
To care.

But as I shield,
Pretend to ignore,
My mind acclimatises,
Forgets what it never will,
Feins to not know,
Bury deep questions that would crush.

Not a path I wish to take,
But one I can’t find a way around.
Caring.
A question, always causing pain.
But not always bad, but always hurt.

Oh how to explain,
Caring that hurts, but isn’t bad.
Caring that just is,
Just is caring.
A state,
Of being, been and to be.

Of it all.
I.
Can’t help. But think.


Totally amazing night, with old friends I haven’t seen in ages. But it’s got me thinking, deep pondering. Not feeling bad, but amazing, but deep in thought in a mixed way. Writing lots of, probably incoherent feelings here. Truth and ramble.

But the image is another I’ve taken.