Trying To Feel

Trying to feel,
Despite feeling empty inside.
Lost without feeling.

Trying all I can,
All I have in the past,
To find feeling,
But left empty,
Do not know why,
Despite what I try.

Fighting the world’s emptiness,
Raging to try,
Raging to find life.

Trying all I have before,
To find.
To try.

To try and feel,
To try and be.
Left to spiral.

Living by the distraction,
One moment at a time.

But oh well,
Living in the pain of unfeeling.

As I rage and try to make it through.
Living with the peaceful crashing of the waves.
Trying.
Trying all I can.

Feeling so lost,
And unsure, why this is.

One thought brings slight comfort, feeling,
And even this,
Cannot disrupt the emptiness right now.
But I try, I try,
To feel.
To try and see.

The songs that play, of life.
A life, captured in music.
I try.

Even this,
May not be enough,
To cease my mind’s spiral.

But I try.
I have to try.
It’s all I got.

This sad song.
Trying to find,
Trying to see.
To know,
To be.

But I’m left lost.


It’s been a better day, but I still feel empty, lost. Maybe it’s because I still need a recovery period. But I really don’t know.

I really feel I’ve lost something recently, don’t even know what.

Even what I’ve always known could help isn’t working. Did some photography which was nice, but still, empty. Lost. Hurt. Not even knowing. That’s the worst bit. Not knowing. Feeling lost. Feeling a bit was lost.

Before I could write poetry and blow off steam and get back to a recovery, but this time is different and don’t even know how or why.

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