Worries in my mind they lash and claw,
The fight and rage,
Leaving no peaceful moment.
Resign to sadness after trying,
Resign, to being a mere distraction from what I try not to see.
A distraction to show others, what they want, a normal, happy, person.
While inside I’m dying.
While inside, I feel shame for this very fact.
I’m just here,
Worried if I do, worried if I don’t.
With no options open to me,
I feel trapped, trapped by no options,
Trapped from a mind hiding itself within distractions.
Trapped with inaction, paralysis to fear.
Writing this, the time I spent at home, very busy, very hectic, many nights I wrote poetry. It fell asleep away halfway through and those were the few nights I had a chance.
Back at home, now, I should be happy, should be for so many things, but I’m sad, in pain and worried, it claiming my mind. There are a couple things that calm my mind, but even these worry me when looking at them for what they are, a distraction to ignore my own worries, my own mind.
But until I find another option I guess distraction shall have to do.