Worries, How They Claim

Worries in my mind they lash and claw,

The fight and rage,

Leaving no peaceful moment.

I resign,
Resign to sadness after trying,
Resign, to being a mere distraction from what I try not to see.
A distraction to show others, what they want, a normal, happy, person.

While inside I’m dying.
While inside, I feel shame for this very fact.

I’m just here,

Worried if I do, worried if I don’t.

With no options open to me,
I feel trapped, trapped by no options,
Trapped from a mind hiding itself within distractions.
Trapped with inaction, paralysis to fear.

Writing this, the time I spent at home, very busy, very hectic, many nights I wrote poetry. It fell asleep away halfway through and those were the few nights I had a chance.

Back at home, now, I should be happy, should be for so many things, but I’m sad, in pain and worried, it claiming my mind. There are a couple things that calm my mind, but even these worry me when looking at them for what they are, a distraction to ignore my own worries, my own mind.

But until I find another option I guess distraction shall have to do.

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