The Mask

The mask,
Hiding pain,
Rage wanting to end. Raging in a life that is my mask.

A mask, faking all is okay,
A mask that has become me,
Become my being,
But separate.

A mask so-kept it becomes true.
Hiding suffering-endless.
About time for the mask to shatter.

About time for the break.
Shattering, crashing.

Always waiting.
To break, rip and slash.
A mind to tear from my body.

A world filling my mind.
Rupturing and overflowing.

Just to tear it all out of the mind.
To keep going till nothing’s left.

Ripping and rupturing,
One more step.
One more try.

To gain control,
Make from what is all out,
To hold and make my mind heel.
To slam my head against the wall,
Ripping my mind out.
Forcing out the pain.
Pain only through the pain.

To make me feel,
To make me hate.
To make it all be free.

To hate existence and being,
Anger at my own being.
Just wanting to tear it all apart,
My mind, piece by piece.
To throw it all away.
To watch the broken pieces,
Shatter before my feet.

Oh how I wish…

Thought today was going better, then lots of things and more and more. I should have known. Should have known. Should have known better, than for it to be better.

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