To Drift

To drift,
To drift away,
Unfeeling where I am used to.
Seeing,
Pondering.
About it all.

Before I dift away and off,
About being, existence and all the lies of being.

The rose windows,
Important for seeing the world,
For being in,
For making and being.

All to drift,
Drift away,
To drift into time,
Into the mind,
Fears, scares and a time.


Had a bit of a rough day, work in the morning was stressful. Me trying and feeling like I’m failing. Always trying and always unhappy with what I can do. Then I went to an event and sat alone anonymously without even being noticed, no one I knew was there. The second or third year that’s happened. Reminding me how alone I am. Having no friends really, people think I do, I know lots of people, get on with everyone. But not really friends with them. Really? I have only 2 friends I guess. And neither do I see often barely anytime.

Day lightened up with seeing a really good friend’s IG, a friend I miss. Also some nice photography. Was the first time feeling alive in like 2 weeks. I had to force myself to go out and take photos it had gotten to a point, I didn’t want to go far (where I planned) and instead forced myself to go only a short distance.

I don’t know if writing this is making me feel better or worse, seeing the truth laid out rather than seeing a lie you want to tell yourself. But oh well. Life is life, pain is pain, I guess it’s just about getting on until time runs out. Feeling a little mixed.