Surrounded by People

Surrounded by people,
But in my head, alone.
Aways with people but never really know.

Saying,
To hope it may come true,
To wish it true.

Saying,
Yet feeling,
How I feel, but always thinking.

Worries, anxieties and nerves,
The mind fades to black.

Crushing blow,
Cracking mind,
Paranoia of a million thoughts


Been a better day, trying to keep spirits up. Sad for a number of reasons. Work less stressful but then how the mind second guesses itself, asking if you worked hard enough, if anyone likes you, even if you can point to evidence of a sort.

How the mind can warp and try to falter. Even having to tell yourself a lie to keep going. Something that you do not know if it’s a lie or not.

Doing a little better. Or at least I hope I am.

There comes a point where you stop looking and instead have to say you are, even if a lie, and hope that by saying it’ll make it true.