Beauty in feeling the life running through your veins,
Running through the mind,
My brain bursting and hyper,
With all the feelings culminating,
As it all, I’m trying,
believing and living.
Life with the feeling,
Feeling like I’m finally being.
Everything falling into place,
Worried still present but easier to handle,
To put into their perspective.
Living and being.
Life filling my lungs,
Hard times come by,
But having just to try it through,
To do my best and make it,
Oh how it is to stand,
To stand and make by,
To own it,
To be true to the self and genuine in feeling and being.
Making the world brighter,
Making even the darkest times, more beautiful and meaningful.
Short little moments,
Showing true value in being.
Living in the moment,
Happy in the moment.
All to be.
Writing, had a good day, saw a friend whose brightened up my day. Yesterday saw a great show with friends which was amazing and it was good spending the time hanging out. On top of feeling good like recently.
Feeling more confident recently, confident and happy, happy and valued, valued and wanting to do anything to share this feeling with everyone, to do anything to make people I care about to feel better.
I still get anxious, even today, small anxieties, and even not even ten minutes ago feeling very lonely and anxious, but it more easily fades, thinking, remembering a friend, the amazing times we hang out, how amazing they are. Yeah I’m massively sad but whatever, it is what it is, and I can’t apologise for being me anymore. Don’t need to.
Found out I wasn’t selected for that commission, but don’t feel bad, it wasn’t likely as it was to go to one person but it’s fine, I am passionate to continue, to eventually do more and do that project I wanted to anyway.
Probably don’t even want to admit it. But my crush, small nothing times, they’ve given me confidence, peace, and a way to find a way through, for everything.
Hard to explain, it’s not like a dependent thing, but, was like, not seeing kindness I thought it never existed apart from pretending it did without ever seeing it but acknowledging I never saw it. But even for brief times, in the smallest ways, I’ve been shown this kindness, probably really nothing but the small kindness, it shows a true way to look at life, rather than constructing an false pretense to hide the world behind to be able to get by, this has really changed it to see the world, good and bad, to cherish the good, to change the bad, to calm anxieties and to cherish the smallest of moments, to be true, to be genuine.