Loving Hurts

Heart torn in two,
Care to break my heart.
Care I have,
That it pains me,
Breaks me down but builds me, builds me as it breaks me down.

To say goodbye, and to help,
Goodbye to find themselves.

My mind,
My empathy,
It breaks and swallows me,
But all I can do, is to hold the feeling. My reason.

So I know why, even as it kills me inside.

My heart breaks.

Emptiness swallows me.
But care motivated me.

A goodbye,
Not wanted,
A goodbye I tried to avoid.

I’m sorry.
Sorry to them.
Sorry in my mind.
Sorry to me and the world.

But I am not sorry, for the reason.
I am sorry it was the only, way.

My mind, clawed to dark and light.
Dark for all of my overthinking, dark for where I’m going now.
The only light comes from remembering, remembering the feeling, what motivated this, the care.

Need to fight,
Fight the darkness,
As I’ve lost the light.
I. Have lost. I, have devastated myself.
My empathy, it kills me.
But makes me, and saves me.

Life, love, care, empathy, it all hurts. But themselves make life worth it.

Oh how it hurts.
My brain, won’t let me have peace.
I am sorry.
A scar on my mind.

It breaks me down.

But I keep hold, hold to the reason that made me tick.

Said goodbye today, goodbye because I care, goodbye because I care. I need her to try. Need her to get closure. Need to give her space.

I’ve felt I’ve lost everything. Life got so perfect, then I had to say goodbye, it was me who said goodbye. Why did I do this! I did it for her but I can’t stand I did say goodbye. But I needed to, did it for her.

This continues, continues from my last poem. I feel like I’ve died, I’ve lost everything. Lost something. Lost. Everything.