Reminded

Reminded,
Reminder of why.
Lost in a dark place.
A reason, a thing.
Reminding me to try.
Reminding me why to try.

Giving me hope
Reminding me,
Of happiness,
Lived vicariously,
Giving me hope.
Giving me hope.

How it’s reminded me, and given me hope.
Given me happiness and a belief in being.


Today, it started rough, got better with some things. The best thing today, that’s turned things around. Sounds weird, but my best friend commenting on another close friend’s post. Seeing it, just turned my down mood around totally. Well no, it reminded me, it helped ever so slightly. But this then allowed me to find a way out of a dark place. Enough just so I could grab hold and pull myself out.

No one probably could see why this small thing turned stuff around for me. It’s small. Lots of small things can pull me out of a dark place, but also small things can push me into a dark place also.

Definitely not feeling all better, but feeling I feel up to trying to feel better again.

I am still sad about losing that ring. But I’ve come to terms with it. Losing it, but keeping the beautiful memories, the feelings, the time. Making more hopefully, happy memories eventually.

I’m feeling better, having to find something. It’s I guess with Autism, a meltdown, I’ve always noticed a kinda total loss of control and depressive episode and really dark places, followed by a kinda catharsis, an end to it. I’ve always known its not a thing to control but to let take its course. In these states I can’t really escape, and people saying ‘just get better’ or ‘look on the bright side’ has never really been helpful, but the only thing that works is external. Something that reminds me, and calms me, and makes me feel a little better, only a little is needed and then it reminds me why and I can pull myself out of the pit. I just need to keep hold of the reason, keep hold of the feeling.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s