Confliction

Confliction, confusion.

The world made bright.

Fearful of the end,

Broken, yet simultaneously saved.

Mixture of feeling, confused.
Happy and also sad,
Missing something.
My ability to comprehend.

My ecstatic excitement filled,
While also fearful worry lingers,

My bipolar shifts from happiness, to worry, to sadness, to happiness.
All offering painful confusion.

Shaken to the core,
Worried yet also happy.

Sad to the confliction of my predicament.
Sad to my required bipolar world.

The place that confines me.

The feelings that control, use, abuse and break me.

Tearing my mind apart.

The confliction;
I am happy.
I am sad.
I am worried.
I am excited, enthusiastic, embarrassed and apprehensive.

A plethora of feeling
Opposites, simultanously felt.
My feelings wrapping themselves around me,
Holding me tightly,
Constricting,

Ripping me apart.

Leaving me confused.

Leaving me with conflict.

Emotions. A roller-coaster.
An ever-moving shift.
Hurtful, yet happy.
Sad, yet also happy.

The feelings I cannot explain,
The emotions I cannot control.

My life controlled without my understanding.

The confliction, my emotions, thoughts and feelings.

I am happy.
I am sad.
I am in conflict.
I am… Me.

Pleasant Surprise

Pleasant surprise,

Nice intervention,

A world from anew,

A place not seen before.

The crazy, excited, ecstatic feeling.

The kindness and intelligence.

A world shown.

Thrown from my own,

Complete surprise.

Through this contentment.

A crazy revelation,

Crazy existence.

My place.

The crazy feeling.

Ecstatic and total. Crazy and looms

The Meaning

The meaning,
The being, place and life.
All for something and all of me.

The place of meaning, life and living.
Placed in a world of being, of staying.

My meaning and place. My comfort and solace.

My place being and moment.

The place I feel at home.
The place to escape my torture.

My place, accepting, my being and place.

My world and my being,
To my shaping.
To my creation.

Shaped into comfort and satisfaction.

My meaning,
My world made whole,
My creation of the meaning,
Not there to begin with.

The End Has Come. The World Goes On.

The end has come,

The finale, the finite experience.

The realisation.
A life I thought I had lost.
Now come to a close.

Given a glimpse.

The future.

To a change I didn’t want.
A change I have found.
Complete novelty.
Different.

The death of the old path I walked,
Kept alive, within my memories.
Fading fast.

A new path outstretched.
New, unfamiliar.

The world goes on.

The path behind me collapses.

A singular choice.
Now the end has come.
To step forth or fall.

Content In Solitude

Content in my solitude,

Alone in the world,

Among the darkness of night.

The long paths taken,

The presence found,

The places been.

Content, alone and moving on.

Marking my presence in the dark of night.

Shifting through being,

An empty wound, moving on and around.

Taking the world in.

Leaving my mark,

A dark spectre on life.

Alone and content in this world.

Moving on and through.

Forging my path with darkness.

In the dark flames of my mind.

The confines of the mind, a raging fire.

The flickering images of the past.

The depths of life,

Echoes of all around.

Within and among, life.

Absorbing and making it mine.

Living and making.

Forging my path through darkness,

Forging my path with those dark flames.

Content in my path.

Living a wound.

Lone Figure

Lone figure in the landscape.

Sitting on the dark steps.

Pondering the world gone past.

The icy air flowing past,

Dark trees on the horizon,

Night skies, all to be seen.

Alone in existence.

Sitting among the world.

Untouched in the dark.

A wound in life.

The darkness, the only friend, solo comfort.

The lonely figure with only the dark to call upon.

Strength to be found in the dark.

Strength in solitude,

Content in my solitude.

The lone figure.

In solitude. The figures moves on. Into further darkness.

To greet the darkness of the horizon.

Ticking Of An Overthinking Mind

Ticking over in my mind,

Overthinking and obsessing.

Going on and on.

Ticking and wondering why.

Why the mind won’t leave me in peace.

Why it goes on and on,

As everything stops but my mind continues on,

Down this path of sadness,

Off into the void.

Onwards in thought.

Ever-thinking.

Ever-feeling.

The surroundings quiet,

But disquiet within my mind.

Thinking and wondering.

Wondering why this happens,

Why I do this.

Why this happens.

Why it goes on,

Ever-feeling and ever-thinking.

The path ahead disquiet.

Unable to quiet my mind,

Unable to suppress my thoughts.

Grasping For The Light

Grasping for the light,

Left thinking,

Of what has come to pass,

What’s left in memory.

The times gone by,

Memories held,

Times elusive,

Left to memory, to past feeling.

Remembering dearly.

Going on.

Trying to grasp the light.

Looking to what’s next.

Remembering the past,

The feelings, memories and past.

Gone, but remembered.

Grasping for the warmth of light,

Memories gone by,

Lived yet missed,

Loved, yet also lost,

To time and to my past.

Grasping at the light.

Past Feeling

Those past feelings,

The times once had.

Remembering and reliving.

Wondering in this present state.

Not unhappy,

Remembering in ecstasy,

But remembering…

It’s left to the past.

Those past feelings.

Replaced by the present remembering.

Good memories,

Left to past feelings.

The times,

Hectic but great.

Lived fully, and left to memory.

A small but great time.

Of past feeling.

Left.

Confined to history,

To remembering,

The past feeling.