Most Influential Lines/Quotes

Just a list of quotes I like.

I’m not even a fan of tattoos, but anything were to be considered, it would be these.

“I would face my demons, just to help you face yours”
– ‘Nice’Guy

“Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, range against the dying of the light.”
– Dylan Thomas

“He had no friends, and for the first time in his life he became aware of loneliness” – John Williams in his book ‘Stoner’

“If you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.”

“In his forty-third year William Stoner learned what others, much younger, had learned before him: that the person one loves at first is not the person one loves at last, and that love is not an end but a process through which one person attempts another.” – John Williams in his book ‘Stoner’

“Alien to the the world, it had to live where it could not be at home” – John Williams in his book ‘Stoner’

“‘… think of all the time–‘. ‘I wouldn’t know what to do with it,’ Stoner said. ‘I’ve never learned.'”

Lonely Figure By the Pond-Side

That lonely figure by the pond-side.

Drooped over, embracing this solitude they find themself in. Holding a hand up to the sky.

Wondering if anyone will pass by,

Wondering where their life has gone,

The warmth evaporated.

Tears run down their cheek,

Flowing into the collection of water around them.

Watching people walk past and fade,

They remain,

They remain unmistakably alone, with no one.

No once can hear their cries,

No one wants to.

No one pays them attention,

They don’t deserve it.

Left alone wondering by the lakeside,

The reflection, a mirage, beckoning them further in.

Showing a reflection; the tired eyes, deep wrinkles, sad demeanour, empty mind and sad soul.

The figure kneels, absorbing the loneliness,

Wanting an end to the emptiness.

Looking around and longing,

For a friend to site beside them.

Waiting for home to find them.

Then comes the realisation:

They are alone, are unwanted and a burden to all who had once cared.

They are in a turbulent and reluctant peace.

Leaving all whom they cares about alone.

Because they are alone, are unwanted and a burden to all who had once cared.

They are then left, a mere sad and lonely figure, sitting by the pond side.

Realisation

Realisation, of that reality.

The difficulty and strife,

The oncoming differences,

The hopes dashed before mature,

The toil and strain for nought.

The desperation seen in a little glass.

The demon seen within the mirror.

The uncertainty, stress and strife.

A reminder of that blank page,

That unwritten meaning.

The confused existence

And spinning endless.

This realisation, hit like a rock,

Lingering, throbbing, an ever-subtle reminder.

Ever going pain.

The realisation of reality.

It’s painful mark left upon my skin.

The realisation, of

The toil and strife all for a page gone blank.

Personality Disorder Test

I’ve known for a while I must have a personality Disorder of some kind.

I may get depressed, but that’s a symptom, of how I feel, think, see the world, fear, react to people, interpret, value and be.

I know this isn’t diagnostic, but was wondering, the highest is what I’ve suspected for a while. It captures what I feel, think, fear and act. The characteristics cause me the pain and are always the cause of the pain. Found it on accident when I was low and thinking about my patterns of thinking and was the first thing to come up on google, Mind’s website on it.

Disorder Result
ParanoidPersonality High
SchizoidPersonality Low
SchizotypalPersonality High
AntisocialPersonality Moderate
BorderlinePersonality Very High
HistrionicPersonality Moderate
NarcissisticPersonality Low
AvoidantPersonality High
DependentPersonality Very High
Obsessive-CompulsivePersonality High
Take the Personality Disorder Test
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Goals for self-betterment – Summer 2017

A list of goals, if I start this first full-time job, and will have my own time free for my own use, unlike when I have been studying

  • Learn Spanish
  • Learn Russian
  • Read Piketty’s ‘Capital’
  • Read history books
  • Watch educational Youtube videos
  • Get ‘Great Courses Plus’ and learn interesting courses
  • Write more poetry
  • Go exploring around my area
  • Learn guitar
  • Try to get back into photography
  • Eat better
  • Do more exercise and work out
  • Play more badminton