The Day My Life Changed

The day,
Unexpected,
Unusual.

Sharing in a normal day,
Losing track of all the time.
One thing to the next,
The ebbs and flows of the river.
The beauty of a simple time,
Simple,
Open,
Freeing.

A beautiful day,
The one that changed.
It changed me.
In little to no time.

A sweet time.
As the sun shines,
The birds sing and the world seems brighter.

So nice,
Casual living,
Living and being.
Being… in the moment and free.

So thankful, for the beautiful time,
The time, the day that changed me.


Feeling amazing, everything is good, everything is perfect. Met a friend, for a casual day taking photos on Tuesday, then we chatted so much instead of any photos. Later met at a bar which again was amazing. Chatting for like 4 hours. Met them everyday since but one for like a week. Thursday, we met up for a house party before going out clubbing. So much. So good. Friday she met me after I finished work, we met up for some food, and then chilled on some grass chatting and playing around before staying over at their’s. Saturday we chilled for a bit before getting ready for a DnB night out, such an amazing night. So amazing. So amazing. And even today, Sunday, I met them before their shift to see them, chat as they didn’t feel well, and it was all cool.

This week,
Has honestly been the best one ever.
Nothing bad has happened. Longest time without anxiety, without any negative feelings, maybe the occasional, but then remembering this week, what’s happened, it just makes the negative feelings just float away. They care, and I care about them more than anyone else. It’s amazing.

Everything’s just pure, casual, amazing and being is perfect.

The Simple Moment

The simple moment,
A simple time,
All laid, on the table,
Casual conversation through it all.

From nothing into being,
Casual time, after casual time.

This simple moment,
Simple, beautiful, but still so simple.
A casual being,
But made into perfection,
Through its simple nature.

Reminiscent,
Of how, you can see the world in a sunset,
On a cliff edge,
A seascape or a mountaintop.
Simple moments in time,
Simple moments of location,
Seeing purity from simplicity.
Such a casual-perfect endeavour.

When, you look, back-round.
A realisation hits of this perfection,
Nerves come around,
Kindness, unsual but found.
A simple time, able to show,
A true self buried deep.
Aspects ignored for being alone,
But now not?

These times, moments, so simple,
Yet also so perfect that it confounds my mind.
My brain, understanding the dichotomy,
While also not.
Like a puzzle when solved, but continues to pose questions.

A perfect night,
Casual night,
A mutual goodbye-hello.
From a time been waiting for ages,
While concurrently new and out-of-the-blue.

With so many chances,
Chance on chance on chance,
Making this night,
Line up,
Making us light up.

From the laughs and smiles,
The night’s remembered.
From everything and the feeling.
The night’s cherished.

From everything,
The feeling, simplicity and humanity.
The night’s legacy.

All from but a simple moment,
A night in,
Meal,
Conversation,
Between two nerds.

Uncapturable simplicity,
Uncapturable significance
Uncapturable perfection.
Cherished in all its meaning.

Goodbye or not. The moment lives on,
A reminder of goodness,
Of all that can.

This perfect, simple moment.


Writing this, trying to capture, the feeling, thoughts, seeing my friend yesterday, for our movie night with cooked dinner and Ben & Jerry’s chats of the past, goals, achievements, dreams and so much more.

Honestly, it was so casual, so, I guess ‘nothing’ but was a perfect night. A perfect night, being able to be myself, be nerdy, chatted Pokemon, something I hadn’t really talked about in ages. Their clear nerdy but cute capability to name them all, and know all things anime. Such a simple moment. One I wished I could capture, but know before writing this that I cannot. But that, I guess, is part of the beauty, as my friend in America says, (paraphrasing/ my interpretation) that beauty comes from the fleeting moment, its being in the moment. What I wrote last night, I felt drunk, very, but totally sober, drunk on life, happy with everything, ecstatic.

Now more calm, collected but still ecstatically happy. My mind running clearer again.

For It All

For it all,
The beautiful song in the dark,
Light in the blackest of nights.

The life, left in the moment,
The poetry of time.
Life singing through all this time.

The speaking of the moment,
The life and the living,
Moments not yet spoken,
Moments in the balance,
Waiting, being.

Wanting to be better,
To show my colours shine.
To embody my world,
And make it all worthwhile.

Trying,
Beauty,
The life to be lived and held.
A world in the making.

Always limited in the meaning,
The being,
Making of it all.

The delicate times,
Moments shared and made,
Thinking of it all,
The uncertain path ahead,
The hurt of the goodbye,
Hoping it is but for a time.

To bring, and make this time mine.

A time to shines.
To make it mine.


Writing this, thinking of my friend I’m meeting up with again, thinking about lots, the past another friend reminded me of. Lots to think of, the messages we send and make, the times we hung out. All amazing. Making me better, wanting to be better. Making me want to stretch and encompass the world.

Been talking also to my American friend, thinking, hoping that all I could do, could make them feel, even a little better. They truly deserve it. I can do nothing, but will do my all, give my all, and make it count.

Ode To The Lost

Ode to the lost,
In time the scars heal over,
Paths find their way,
Their end,
And their shine.

Oh how it feels,
Perfect in time,
To make it all perfect.

An ode to the lost in time,
To find a way, It’ll come.
Feeling a world’s stride away,
Until found at the end of the long path.

The beauty to be found,
In a simple smile,
Kind heart,
Small deed.

Of it all.
To be found in time.
To be found,
In self,
By another,
In a world so dark,
To turn it light.
To just find the light.
Ellusive,
Until met.

Greeted with open hands and heart.
An ode to the lost.
In time to be found.
Only a step away.

For all the lost,
To find the beauty of the emergence.
The wondrous beauty of perfection,
To be found.
In that perfect feeling,
That perfect time.

For this time,
An ode to the lost in time.


Writing this feeling good, an amazing shift with amazing people in all my job. Making me love it throughout it all, still worried about the future but knowing I can make it work. Thinking of that amazing friend I’m seeing for a movie night and haven’t seen for ages and have missed. Thinking of my American friend how I really know you can make it past all the dark times to find that shine! Feeling the demons finally subsiding, as they have before. But feeling better, more closure and knowing I am me and no reason to apologise for that, haters gonna hate and all that haha. The demons subsiding. Allowing me to shine through.

Taken Aback

Taken aback,
A chance occurrence,
From nowhere, it finds me,
After I had given up,
It shows me,
Nothingness isn’t the state of the world as it is.
Nothingness is a state of loss,
Of a person harmed,

Ever-trying, never to let go,
To fight back the the dark embrace,
This is it.
This is the light.

Taken aback, after I lost myself,
Let go of the light,
Lost.
Those times,
Occur, leaving me taken aback.
By the reality occurring.
By the time that happens.

Taken aback, as colour flows back into the world.
As warmth fills my gone-empty heart.

Oh how I’m taken aback,
From this state of emptiness,
Loss, of the world.
A loss, to the world.

But in such the briefest encounter,
Briefest words in such a temporary time,
I feel,
There is more.

There is a warmth,
That once again I can feel.

Watching the Walk

Watching the walk,
Off into that distance,
Those times made so.

In place,
That time,
Into the snow as it falls.
Falling with those flakes full,
Watching that walk,

A shiver not in sight.
A white day,
The day light’s shine off the snow.

Watching that walk,
Through that snow,
Off into the distance.
Like the flow of time,
A flowing river,
Off into the distance,
The unknown,
The distance,
The time.

Flowing,
Watching that walk.

Worth The Feeling

Worth the feeling
The wait, the time,
Worth it for the feeling,
Worth it for the briefest of times.
It was it,
Worth it,
For that time.

It was a could,
A potentiality,
The times that make the world shine,
Shine bright,
Those times, the world shines.

Bright as the morning rise.

For a mere moment,
A kindest smile.
A help.

A moment, life given,
Life made worth.

Worth.

Worth the feeling.


Thinking, feeling, thinking, pondering. Thinking of life, times, feelings. How, everything can be perfect, in those smallest littlest things. Problems come and go, so do the most divine feelings, those, with the memories keeping them alive, so that they’ll never fade.

I’ve come so far, escaped such shit darkness, but, it gets better, bit by bit, a smallest moment can show it all. A true happiness. Only for a time, but until the next.

Also writing this watching a touching episode of The Walking Dead, not what you’d think, but still.

Written, hanging out, arranging to hang out with a friend, one, we started talking by random chance, a random comment, one time around Christmas. Feeling mixed today, but totally amazing right now.

The Ask

The ask,
A simple thing,
Moment captured in the singularity of time,
A finite, moment.

The ask,
A time of the now and near.
A time for the taking,
The opportune,
Many things,
A compilation,
A mosaic of the existence.

The ask,
The time,
What a time?

The ask,
A message,
Much to come,
But also simple,
A simple complicated thing.
Waiting for the collapse,
From potentiality to actuality,
A collapse of the superposition.

To the making,
To the asking,
The ask.

At Peace

At peace,
Troubled mind, set straight.
A long road to travel,
But one I must.
One I want.

Feeling,
At peace.
Knowing where I can.
The path to take,
A way opens up.
Trouble still stands,
But I am ready,
Hesitant yet determined. At peace.

To try, to travel.
To be…
At peace.

Others,
Seeing their plights,
Relating,
Feeling, empathy.

Waiting, feeling, thinking.
The rarity of peace,
Peace of mind, peace of life.

Another step to be taken.
Another time to try.
Another,
Another,
Always another.

Time to try.
Time to be.
At peace.


Feeling good, have had such a terrible week. Feeling better, feeling okay. Thanks to everyone, all my friends, people online and everyone.

Everyone has their ups and downs. Humans have a strong ability for empathy.
Something which I believe can overcome all.
Empathy, all the problems of the world could be solved by.

Empathy, and at peace.

Have so much to look forward to, times with friends, badminton and times, working together to finish my work. All. All worth it. It’s just those times when lost. It’s hard to find peace. Thanks, thank you MusicGirl for all the help you’ve offered. Even if I was blind to trying to help myself.

Turn of the Page

Turning the page,
A new life, new chapter and start.
To move on and into the new world ahead.

To place yourself in the world,
A new world, start, and bliss to be found.
A reminder of all,
All that there can be.

The good,
The kindness and help,
The beauty of the world so finite.
At a turn of the page.
So much can change.
A world opening up.

To bring into view,
The sunlight over the horizon.
The oncoming summer breeze,
With it; flowers, birdsong and life.

All.
Everything.
At the turn of a page.


Writing this poem as a more uplifting one. Looking forward to hanging out with a friend tonight. Makes me feel better. No matter what has happened.