Gentle Reminder

The gentle reminder,
All found in place,
That gentle reminder.

The world gone bright,
The times to come.

The reminder comes,
In those bright days,
And the dark of night.
All to come,
Worth the wait,
Worth the while.

A gentle reminder.
Those fondest of memories.
The beautiful times.
To last a lifetime.
To hold onto.
To cherish.

Worth the struggles and the pain.
Worth the fondness,
To send an occasional message.
To brighten my day,
And another’s.

The gentle reminder,
The brighter day,
Memories, hopes and determination.

Thoughts unable to comprehend.
Happiness in unknown form, unknown quantities.

The beauty, behind the sunrise.
Of a blossoming flower,
Of the deepest purple of dusk.

Oh how is such beauty made real,
This world shown to me.

The possibilities open.
A path unknown,
Yet also clear.

This gentle reminder of being,
Of feeling
Of making.

This gentle reminder.

My gentle reminder.

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Rift

Rift running deep,
Evicerated by the thoughts.
Turmoil of emotiness,
The rage in the quiet.

The silent darkness,
Walking through the dark alone,
The darkness my home.
Defiant and strong.
The rage my instrument

Thinking of time.
Confined to the mind.
Emptying out my pain.
Filling it with rage,
Turning it empty.

Myself, a dark night,
Dimly lamp-lit.
A figure stabdibg on the corner.

Silently watching,
Everything let go.
The darkness, the silence and emptiness all a familiar friend.

Friends unfamiliar,
Living without seeing.
Unable to help regardless.

A confusing state,
This rift.
Rift of mind,
Rift of sight,
Of being and of thinking.

Left to the black emptiness.
Somehow tricking myself into and out of feeling.

An emptiness without sadness,
Without happiness.
Mere being.

Sad words to others,
For me, a state i understand,
A state i cannot feel,
This rift within me.

Mistake

Silly mistakes,
Costly ones.
Thoughts and worries,
Rushing through my head.
Unable to think or sleep.
Over what I have done.

My mistake made.
My mistake made.

The worries all-consuming me.
The crazy worries.

Unable to sleep,
For my mistake.

An error made in rush and panic.

Seemingly nothing
But the worry consumes me.

More for what it means.
The wider thoughts,
Its implications.

Lying awake in worry,
Unable to sleep.
The mistake I made.
An error of judgement.

A mistake,
And what it means.
My mistake made.

Oncoming

On comes the path ahead,

A new day,

Thoughts spiralling,

The time to come.

Sitting on a bench,

Thinking about it all.

Thinking, living,

Better than before,

But feeling only a part,

Waiting and wondering.

What happened to it all,

Where did it go?

What happened to get here.

What next?

In the oncoming.

In the place I find myself.

Sitting, waiting, wondering.

Of all the things gone past.

Of all the times gone,

Flown, out of my grasp.

Leaving nothing left.

But memories.

Memories, but with empty substance.

Gone at a chance.

Left without.

I sit here,

Left on a bench.

Wondering and waiting.

Only left is the oncoming.

Looking Back Fondly

Looking back fondly,
The memories and moments once shared.
Time has passed.
Things have changed.
Looking back fondly.

Circumstances have changed,
Now is not the same,
Not alike.
I miss the past,
The time spent,
Our conversations,
What we shared.
Looking fondly back.

Maybe all an illusion.
The inevitable death that time brings.
I cannot tell.
Was it all a lie?
It all for nothing?
Was it something.
I cannot tell.
Looking fondly back.

Memories, photos and feelings,
All to remind me,
Of what I found.
What you showed me.
How I tried to help.
Looking fondly back.

Looking fondly back,
I look on through my mind’s eye,
A tear running down,
Remembering the time found and lost.
Missed, left and dying.
Like I am inside.
Making of life,
To have it ripped from my chest.
I look fondly back,
Always will,
Remembering and happy-sad.
Looking fondly back.

Killing Me Slowly

The emotions,

The pain,

The sadness,

Overwhelming yet also not.

Emptying even in my exhaustion.

Contemplating some foreign aspects.

Emptying myself like a cup.

Removing all that makes me- me,

All that makes me a being, a person.

Wondering,

As I sit here unfeeling,

Wondering.

Thinking.

Waiting hoping and losing.

Troubles pile on and I sit in astonishment.

Time moves on,

And emotions are killing me slowly.

Holding On

Holding on, to those small moments,

The memories to drown out the bad times.

The laughter and chatting,

The small embrace,

A reminder for those worse times,

To move through,

To hold on.

Small messages.

Reliving the moments.

Making new moments.

Out of nothing.

The understanding,

Out-of-nowhere.

The small chatting,

An understanding among strangers.

A connection from nowhere,

Yet so meaningful.

A time to always brighten my day.

And here I hold on.

Until we meet again.

And I can show you.

It’s worth holding on.

As you’ve done for me.

Invisible

Invisible,

A ghost walking through the thicket,

Silence in the air,

But for the crunching leaves beneath my feet.

A slight whisper as water splashes all around,

Insects cry out.

I. Walk through.

Invisible. Unreacting. Observing.

I stop. Turn my head.

Carry on walking.

The crisp leaves of my every step,

The whispering wind that blows so gentle.

The trees protruding, with their jagged embrace.

I notice. I walk on.

Time lacking, never ending.

I walk on. Wonder. Move on again.

The darkness falls,

The forest transformed.

The environment screams. In silence.

I walk unfeeling. Into. Through. Unnoticing.

Invisible.

That Fading Light

That fading light,

The times to be looked for,

Waiting to be,

But unsure,

Those times,

The small moments,

Moments of life,

Moments of love but unsure.

The making, being, be.

Those times,

Memories, to fade.

To remember,

Hold and keep.

Those moments,

That fading light.

Uncertainty but also certainly.

Those times,

Those memories and those moments.

Those times come to a close,

A final conclusion.

An end.

The time of going,

If knowing, the finality.

Empty Loss

This empty loss,
Alien feeling.
Dissatisfied with comfort,
Confusing feelings.

A storm out of nowhere,
Consuming me from within.
Incomprehensible,
Left empty, empty loss, without feeling.

Death from nothing.
Mourning started before the total loss.

The dark shroud to come,
The empty abyss that comes from bliss,
Incomprehensible,
the loss, and the emptiness.

An alien infection,
Suddenly coming over me,
For no reason.

Feeling left my mind.
A loss to the world.
Frozen out of existence.

Fearful,
Of hurting my friends,
Those I hold dear.

Needing to drift off,
Away into darkness,
A figment, a distant memory.

The empty figure.
Unfeeling.
The empty loss.

Leaving out the door,
Without looking back.

Wondering, hoping.
Leaving,
With my empty loss,
The only friend I can’t hurt,
My only possession.

The dark figure,
Leaving,
An empty loss,
A scar on the world.

Drifting into the dark abyss,
Of emptiness,
Of loss.