Your Kindness, Your Care,

Your kindness and care,

You offer, it’s comfort surrounds me,

Compliments the concurrent pain.

I appreciate it, but it still provides pain.

It’s funny, this simultaneous kindness, care and pain.

I love it, I hate it,

But I love you,

In vain, but that’s the fact, that’s the reality.

Seeing you happy, in whatever form that takes,

That means the world to me,

I would do anything to help,

Even if it causes me more pain.

That help you may gain from it,

Would make it worth it.

The pain, kindness and care,

All supplementing one another.

 

I cannot offer much, but kindness, care and love.
But that is me,
No matter how you hate it.
That is me.
No matter how you don’t want it.

I will be around, to offer this kindness and care.

If you ever want, ever need.

This is me,
My Kindness
My Care.

Strung Along

Strung along,

Been given a glimpse,

Yanked away at a moment’s notice,

Pained, hurt, alone.

Being strung along,

An extra piece,

An attachment,

Need to let go,

Need to leave,

To learn from past mistakes,

From the pain.

Been strung along.

A mere afterthought.

The lack of care,

Lack of kindness,

Lack of feeling.

Being strung along.

Guardian

I’ll always be there,

Even if we stop talking,

Will always keep an eye out.

I’ll always catch you when you fall,

Pick you up when down,

Listen when you need to talk

Advise when you need another opinion.

 

No matter who you leave me for,

No matter how much you hurt me,

No matter how much you don’t care.

I will be there.

A guardian,

Always looking out for you,

My little Fox.

Your Sweet Compliment

Your sweet compliment,

Words to warm my soul,

Fill my heart with glee.

Make me feel wanted,

Valued,

Cared about.

My, oh my, your sweet compliment,

Turns me spinning around,

High on excitement,

Gleeful and joyous.

I am sorry I cannot compliment you

Your presence is a compliment on life,

A reminder of the good.

No compliment an capture my feeling,

No words can say.

What I want to say,

To you.

Your sweet compliment.

Fills me with warmth.

Your sweet compliment.

No Good For Me

You’re no good for me,

Always there, even as it hurts.

As it kills me.

Need to realise,

Sometimes those clicks,

Those moments of clarity,

Given me pain,

Hurt.

Gone.

Am I blind to what you do?

Why do I walk into your knife.

Why do I do this?

Again.

And.

Again.
I will get through,

Hopefully without you.

As you are no good for me.

Changing Song

That changing song, the worried mind.

The unsteady being,

The erratic beathing,

That hurtful beating.

That changing core,

Throbbing mind.

All with this changing song being sung.

The tearing of my heart,

But sad, for that lack of bleeding.

That ripping feeling.

The pain without that end.

I don’t want much.

Won’t ask too much.

Give me this.

This change of song.

This silent end.

Being, Breathing, On The Outside.

Being, on the outside,

Alone and helpless,

Wanting to share,

Wanting to be more than being.

Wanting to express,

Wanting to be there,

To be able,

To share myself with another,

To confide,

And be confided in.

To be,

To share,

To love,

To feel another’s pain,

To help even slightly,

Even if not.

To help bear that pain.

Someone I can be with,

And they want to be with me.

Never Enough

Never enough, how you hurt me.

Never enough the way you use me.

You keep me.

You rip me apart.

You leave me for dead.

Easier for you,

Barely living means I can’t leave.

Can’t walk, always caring. Always hurt.

Leave me alone.

Leave me to live.

Take this pain, this burden from me.

Please.

Please let me be.

I feel bad hurting you.

I feel bad as you joke around and try to include me.

Maybe you don’t see what you do,

Maybe you don’t mean what you do,

Maybe it’s all in my own head.

I cannot tell.

I just cannot tell.

Just the story of this NiceGuyAndHisDemons.

I Was That

I was that,

I was your play thing,

Your toy,

The thing to throw around,

Flaunt,

Disregard,

Use.

I was the thing you discarded,

Only to be picked up when holding a potential use.

I was the person always there.

I was held on to when needed.

Oh how I walked into it every time,

Hand outstretched every time,

Always used and discarded.

I am not a toy, I have feelings.

Hard to see that, in a toy.

Always my hand outstretched.

Always either used or left.
Never mind,

I was all that.

And continue to be.

For now.

Waiting for the moment.

When I am not all that.